Gritty

The Philadelphia Flyers introduced a new mascot last September in Gritty, the orange monster with googly eyes staring right into your soul. He changed the mascot game since he entered the fray by replicating a Kim Kardashian photoshoot to streaking at the Link at a Stadium Series game.

However, all mascots have their down time and Gritty, for as many waves as he made, decided to look for a side hustle with the Flyers’ season done and dusted a while back after he has gotten some down time. In a CV he uploaded to Twitter, there was a big revelation made:

Gritty is one of Penn State's own (much like Bruce Banner/Hulk, or, if you prefer non-fictional characters with mountain-sized muscles, Saquon Barkley).

He spent a year in Penn State Altoona, one of the closer satellite campuses to State College in 2015-16 and oh my, that would be an experience. 

Let’s face it, Gritty had to have lived in Oak Hall as a freshman, and there was no way he fit nicely into any of the furniture in the dormitory built in the 60s. Not the school’s fault, though, Gritty is just big.

We can also conclude that Gritty achieve his physical size by eating at Port Sky Café. As much as the food and services people try to roll out with special foods and themes every now and then, the more “enjoyable” food items are coincidentally the more unhealthy ones. He must have put on his freshman-15 with ease with his meal points at Port.

As a daredevil himself, the small campus has a single challenge to offer. Penn State Altoona was an amusement park known as Ivyside Park with the once-world’s largest in-ground concrete swimming pool. It was then converted to a pond with a fountain where the famed PSA ducks resided along with their fecal matter.

As students speculate the cleanliness of the pond, there have been a number of students that took a leap of faith as a dare, and Gritty has to have partaken in such an activity. Let’s hope he dried his fur out after that.

The elephant in the room has to be addressed here and that is Gritty’s academics. The “Logic” major and “Citrus & Farrier Science” minor were nowhere to be found on Altoona’s curriculum. However, most students will not get to declare until sophomore year anyway.

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