Gracie coffee

The Daily Collegian columnist Gracie Carella's coffee.

A friend of mine and I recently had a coffee chat where we dumped the contents of our brains onto the table that separated us. For the first time in months, I was truly able to connect and converse with someone.

While we didn’t dig into the nitty-gritty of the argument, we both agreed that “finding ourselves” is hard and something many people reject.

Some people are just here to exist and to take on whatever identity that comes to them as they continue in life.

However, I think the phrase is better put as “returning to yourself.” I don’t think there’s ever any finding or searching that needs to be done. Rather, I think it's a process of returning to what you’ve lost.

We surround ourselves with millions of micro-influences every day, and to think of how many of them we’ve encountered in our lifetime is a real brain-clogger. We’re pressured, influenced, given false conclusions and assumptions. This adds layers to ourselves — furthering us from who we really are.

We’re born with no influences, but as soon as we’re able to absorb everything the universe has to offer, we begin to distance ourselves from, well, ourselves.

To “find yourself” in my eyes is to unlearn, untrust and discover what has separated you from YOUR world, not what the FALSE world has given you.

It's always easier to take than to give, and the world plays into that. It’s easier to believe information and run with it instead of arguing it to dig for the truth.

Sometimes you have to go against what the world has fed you, and not because you aren’t appreciative, but because it’s not good for you or your soul.

You can’t live life by mindlessly accepting the false just because it’s the easiest thing to do. Most people do that. I’ve been guilty. But now I’m beginning to reject what’s being handed to me.

It’s not an easy thing to do. You’re going to lose friends, people you thought were going to stay and gander with you.

I’ve lost control of myself trying to reel back in the true version of myself. It’s not a linear process, but that’s what defines it.

The number of nights I spent freshman year curled up in my bed, overwhelmed by the confusion of who I was, who my friends were and what my life was, easily outnumbered the number of nights I spent happily.

That was and still is completely fine. I had to question everything I knew, let go of the ropes I thought were there to support myself and start anew.

In the process of returning to myself, I learned that not only was I a completely different person than I thought, but sometimes you need to hold an imaginary mirror up to really take a close look at yourself.

So go get at it; peel away those layers that separate you from your true self, and reintroduce yourself to your refound friend.

If you're interested in submitting a Letter to the Editor, click here.