Editor’s Note: The Daily Collegian does not endorse Braden, nor any UPUA candidate, for president — but especially not Braden.
My fellow Americans, I come to you today a humble man ready to make a difference at The Pennsylvania State University. The only way I can think of to serve Penn State is to take all the honor and glory for myself, therefore I am launching my write-in campaign for president of UPUA. I have never been a part of UPUA and I have little to no work ethic, and it is because of these qualities I believe that I am the best candidate for president.
My running mate and co-host of the award winning podcast, “We Are Trying Our Best” James Langan is prepared and committed to be the best vice dictator (correction: vice president) possible. Mr. Langan and I are committed not to the voters, but our own self-interest, if we’re being honest.
You can vote right now. Please, if you know what’s good for you, write-in Braden Dyreson and James Langan for UPUA president and vice president. We are all counting on you.