East Halls, Quad

East Halls quad on Wednesday, Sept. 9, 2020.

Editor’s Note: The Daily Collegian is committed to publishing culturally important works such as poetry that the Penn State community demands. The following is one of the finest examples of classical poetry.

O’ sing in me muse,

And through me tell the story,

Of the used latex sleeve,

Left in my dorm hall’s stairway

Thereupon the threshold

The condom does lie,

In front of the exit

It’s stayed for a fortnight

A mystery from whence it came,

The plastic tube that contains DNA

Yet, it still lies whither whereupon

Because no one has thrown it away

Two roads diverge in a yellow woods

These separate paths the traveller must decide

Whether to step over the condom

Or go around the side

It may sit in the stairway now, but once

The prevention of STIs this balloon did provide

No future medical complications

On whomever it did slide

Its fate was not to be floated around the stadium of Beaver

Instead to slowly waste away in Thomspon’s not so celestial shore

Faces pass by not willing to clean up another’s mess

Quoth the custodian, “Nevermore”

Lost forever, any meaning,

to the sands of time

For the condom merely exists

With no reason or rhyme

Thus I am left

Encountering it like this,

Anytime I attempt to leave

It can prevent 98% cases of syphilis

When the condom finally get thrown away

And it no long sits on the stairs, in silent pain

I won’t be sad, and eventually I’ll forget all about it

All those memories, like tears in rain.

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