Students study in the library

Students work at computers in the Pattee Library on Wednesday, Sept. 8, 2021 in University Park, Pa.

So you’ve been stressing about an upcoming exam and can’t take the pressure anymore? Allow Penn State to make things worse by sending you to a place of sadness and regret — the Pollock Testing Center.

It could be universally recognized as the worst place on campus. If it just fell into the Earth via a sinkhole or satanic doing, there wouldn’t be too many people upset about it.

It’s like the Department of Motor Vehicles but worse. The nylon rope line directs you to the place of your final rest, or rather your grade’s final rest.

A piece of scrap paper is provided for you to write your will, because with the relentless coughing up and down the aisles, there seems to be little chance you’ll make it out alive.

Let’s not forget the green drawstring bags you put your devices in, because those, not the cameras or proctors walking around, will prevent students from cheating.

Speaking of the cameras, can I get a copy of those videos? It might be fun to watch the sweat running down my face and my legs quivering.

The cameras make me feel like I’m doing something wrong when I haven’t. I stabbed my hand with a pen in my pocket this week and looked at it. I instantly started freaking out that the people watching the cameras would think I had written cheat notes on my hand.

The testing center takes a toll on the psyche of students by adding more stress when it isn’t needed. Just give the exam in class and have TAs walking around to make sure no one’s cheating.

There’s no reason I should be walking across campus at 9 p.m. on a Tuesday to take an exam. With that, has anyone ever gotten a time slot earlier than 7 p.m.? No matter how early I get that email, I never get a slot that doesn’t cause me to walk home alone in the rain (it really is always raining when you take an exam, right?) at 10 p.m.

Finally, when you leave the testing center, you don’t even get to keep the drawstring bag — fix that @Eric Barron.

And if your professor mutes the scores after you went through all that stress, drop the class.

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