There are many words to describe a State College Halloween. Slut-tastic is one of them.
When did we get so scandalous?
As Halloween nears, expect slutty nurses, slutty referees, the obligatory slutty schoolgirls and probably slutty Sarah Palins roaming the streets of downtown State College.
Of course there's the classic Mean Girls quote: "In 'girl world,' Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."
However, ladies, please use some caution when dressing. I think my London Encounter tour book explained the process of partying best, as I was clearly unaware of this phenomenon before reading it: As it gets later into the night, people wear less and less clothing. Thus, if you start with hardly anything, and you remove pieces throughout the night, you may end up completely nude -- and thus become a kooky character in one of the Collegian's police briefs in Monday's paper.
Some students, however, have no shame in exposing parts -- especially when it involves acquiring alcohol. There's the defining moment freshman year when asked to flash a frat boy in exchange for beer. In other words, degrade yourself out of desperation for a seemingly necessary Natty Light. I've seen it happen and never needed a Natural Light badly enough to stoop that low.
I thought that by the time you're 21, those desperate patterns would change. But I witnessed a similar incident in the unbelievably long line at Lulu's Nightspot Friday night of Michigan weekend. As a girl and her group of friends walked straight to the front of the line, one directed the others to 'pop out their boobies' in an effort to cut the line. The tactic failed.
When drinking is involved, clothes come off, body parts emerge and there tends to be someone with a camera to record the most embarrassing moments. Then comes the Facebook tagging/untagging process many of us know a little too well.
Why can't we keep our clothes on?
Upon discussing possible Halloween costumes, my roommates and I thought the Golden Girls would be a golden choice. Who doesn't want to party with Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and feisty Sophia?
Out of our group of friends, the only one who fully endorsed this idea is a self-proclaimed Golden Girls fanatic. Upon further discussion, he even agreed to play the role of Sophia, even though Dorothy is his ultimate favorite.
Most others smiled politely at our costume idea, but the consensus seemed to be that the fabulous Miami ladies just aren't slutty enough for a Penn State Halloween.
When life throws out these tough moral dilemmas, I tend to think to myself, what would Biggie Smalls do? I know he appreciates Penn State gals because he gave a shout out to the "hoes at Penn State" in 1997's "It's All About the Benjamins." What would he think of my friends and me dressing like older -- though still stellar -- widowed/divorced ladies? Would that live up to his expectations of us Penn State "hoes"?
I finally realized sweaters are simply too hot to wear for a costume; in order to stay cool as a Golden Girl, I'd need to find one of their bright Miami-style pants suits, and I simply don't have the stamina to rummage through racks of old clothing for that.
But still, I will not take the slutty way out; my costume will be somewhere comfortably between the conservative loveliness of the Golden Girls and the tiny pieces of cloth that will be worn by many Penn State ladies this weekend.
My fellow "hoes," please keep it tasteful. There's no rule that you have to look like a "slore" on Halloween; it's the one day of the year when you can pretend to be anything you want. Be a tree. Be a purple dinosaur. Be a can of pepper spray. As Penn State proclaims, "It's Your Time." Remember, Facebook can be scarier than the most frightening Halloween costume when it comes to sloppy and revealing moments we'd like to remain forgotten.
Beth Kaiserman is a senior majoring in journalism and is a culinary reporter for the Daily Collegian. Her e-mail address is bak251@psu.edu.
