It's wasn't supposed to be like this.

Beaver Stadium -- which can now claim the nation's largest seating capacity after Michigan finally blinked -- was set. The tickets were sold. Fergie was coming, and we were ready.

So why is it that when the sun sets on our bucolic college town on April 18, the Beav will be lady lump-less?

Fergie's not coming, and because of that, my spirits will be lower than my imaginary girlfriend's booty after listening to Flo Rida's "Low" on repeat. This weekend, Flo opens for leading lady Jordin Sparks, who will try to bring us through this difficult, trying time.

Sparks is great and all, but there's not really anyone in music today who can hold a candle to Fergie's live show.

Why did you tease me like this, MSL Sports and Entertainment? Why would you plan an elaborate musical extravaganza to take place at 16 sites across the nation, complete with text-message voting and a lucrative scholarship, and not first make absolutely sure that everything was OK?

Now MSL says the event will be coming back in the fall. It better be. Last time I checked this was America, and in America, when someone tells you they're throwing a Fergie concert, by God they do whatever it takes to make that concert happen.

The fall holds promise. This weekend, though, stretches before me as two unholy days of despair, my sadness mocked by the pageantry of Blue-White.

"... Big girls don't cry/don't cry, don't cry, don't cry," the siren croons on her 2006 release The Dutchess.

Maybe they don't, Fergie. But this Friday, I will.

Billy Wellock is a sophomore majoring in English and The Daily Collegian Venues chief. His e-mail is waw5010@psu.edu and he's not a big girl.