When I recently heard that Gary Cattell, perhaps better known to Penn State students as the Willard Preacher, doesn't believe in dinosaurs (whose animatronic replicas will star at the BJC this weekend) I had to investigate.

So Wednesday afternoon, I interrupted Cattell during one of his fire and brimstone speeches to ask.

"No," he said. "That's not true."

Good call, Gary.

When trying to convince college kids that sinners aren't winners, the former existence and extinction of dinosaurs is more effective than the hippest Biblical parable (if you're wondering, it's the tale of Jonah and the Beer Pong Tournament).

The fact that gigantic carnivorous reptiles with nine-inch long teeth, deafening roars and comically short arms were once stomping around is more proof of God's creative genius.

And if the fact that those magnificent beasts are now extinct doesn't make you question your own mortality, then I don't know what will.

They can teach us moral lessons, they're cast in Hollywood blockbusters -- no bones about, dinosaurs are awesome.

That is why I'm proposing Penn State make two important dinosaur-related changes. By looking to the past, the university can poise itself to succeed in the future.

The first part of the restructuring involves changing the academic focus of the school to ensure top-notch paleontology and bioengineering programs.

The paleontology program can obtain dinosaur DNA from fossils. Biologists could replicate that dinosaur DNA and potentially splice it with another animal's DNA (maybe frogs) to create modern dinosaurs. Instead of an arboretum, the university can build a park where visitors can see real-life dinosaurs in their natural habitats! It would be incredible.

The second part of the restructuring is replacing the Nittany Lion mascot with a dinosaur mascot.

The Nittany Lion has been a noble mascot, but its time has come. Mountain lions don't roam the Pennsylvania countryside anymore, and a dinosaur mascot would strike fear into the quivering hearts of our football opponents.

Because there are so many great dinosaurs, students and alumni can vote on the new mascot. Every dinosaur, from the Euoplocephalus to the Pachycephalosaurus to R. Kelly's fictional "Sexasaurus" would be eligible.

Who knows, it might garner more interest than UPUA.

Billy Wellock is a sophomore majoring in English and The Daily Collegian's Venues chief. His favorite dinosaur is the Utahraptor ostrommaysorum and his e-mail is waw5010@psu.edu.