On the holiday that glorifies impracticalities (namely, shelling out for roses that will wilt two days later), I'm taking a boldly unprecedented stand. Starting now, I'm swearing off romantic comedies in their ridiculous entirety.

Yes, I am aware this is going to be tough. For girls, watching romantic comedies is a harder habit to kick than nicotine, but for my sanity's sake, I must try. I know these movies need to be taken with a grain (or, in most cases, a pound) of salt, but watching them only makes me frustrated. Why doesn't my boyfriend understand the necessity of throwing rocks at my window in the middle of the night? Or of standing on my lawn with a boom box over his head?

I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that my life is nothing like a chick flick.

For starters, there isn't a constant flow of witty dialogue that takes place between me and my friends, who also don't happen to double as my insanely attractive supporting cast (no offense, girls). Good things rarely happen to me at the stroke of midnight, and, to the best of my knowledge, I don't have some all-knowing audience that has figured out exactly what or who will make me happiest (although, if you do happen to be a bystander that sees what life choices I should be making, please feel free).

Deep down, in some heavily repressed part of our subconscious, all girls know romantic comedies aren't real, but that doesn't stop us from hoping. And therein lies the problem.

Let's face it, girls. It's just not going to happen. And I can't continue to let these crafty sobfests trick me into believing otherwise. The truth is, our real knights in shining armor are the utterly clueless, sports-crazed goofballs all around us. But let me share with you one of life's best-kept secrets: They are great. And they really do want to make us as happy as Cinderella at the ball, even if they can't quite figure out how.

Simply put: Just because something isn't perfect doesn't mean it still can't be precisely what we're looking for. So when we do meet Prince Not-As-Charming-As-We'd-Hoped (unfortunately, not by locking eyes across a crowded room or by getting tangled up in dog leashes while walking in Central Park), we won't have to feel the inevitable letdown for which romantic comedies set us up.

If we spend our lives holding out for a guy who, after meeting us two days ago, freezes to death in sub-zero waters while we safely float on some driftwood, we'll only wind up old and wrinkly with nothing to show for it. [Disclaimer: This next part is the extremely sappy ending meant to restore your faith in humanity.]

So in the spirit of Saint Valentine, let's try to remember the real reasons why we come together and fall in love -- not the hyped-up imitations that are fed to us in the movies. Let's ditch the Hollywood glam and open our hearts to the real life, everyday possibilities to have each other at hello, to never have to say we're sorry and to never let go, Jack, never let go.

Elaina Sabatine is a freshman majoring in advertising and public relations and a visual arts reporter for The Daily Collegian. Her e-mail is ems5209@psu.edu.