Couples, no matter what race or gender combination, married or dating, want the same thing on Valentines Day: to hold hands, give each other tokens of affection and enjoy a day together.

While making a relationship work can be hard under any circumstances, for some couples, it's made even more difficult with the pressures of everyday life or family scrutiny.

For Katelynn Levanduski (freshman-communications), who is white, and her boyfriend Josh Huger, who is black, Native American and white, dating under the judgement of family can be trying.

"My grandparents have said things to my parents about me and Josh being in a relationship, because he's not white," Levanduski said.

Levanduski said her grandparents try to change the subject whenever Josh, a freshman at Indiana University of Pennsylvania from King George, Va., is brought up in conversation, and that her grandmother will not refer to him by name, just as "the boyfriend."

Her grandparents have asked her parents multiple times, "How can you let her date him?"

Levanduski recalled a time when her grandmother invited her family and all of their significant others to dinner. She invited everyone but Huger.

It's the opposite with Huger's family members, who are very encouraging about the couple's relationship.

"When I'm out with his family, I don't feel awkward. Most people are accepting," Levanduski said.

"The most shocking thing to his parents was that I'm a Democrat, and they're Republican," she said, laughing.

Levanduski said that when the two are walking in Huger's Virginia hometown, holding hands, "sometimes we'll get looks."

But it hasn't stopped them from being together on Valentine's Day in the past. Last year, Huger came to Levanduski's workplace and dropped off a dozen roses.

This year however, the couple will be apart, bound to their separate campuses.

"On Valentine's Day we won't be together, but hopefully we'll have a long [phone] call," Levanduski said. The couple is planning a dinner date when they see each other again over spring break.

**********

Jeremiah Link (senior-secondary education) and his wife Brianna, a 2007 alumna, met about three years ago at Campus Crusade for Christ (CRU). After dating for nine months, they became engaged, and on Dec. 29, 2007, they were married. Two weeks later, Jeremiah went back to school, beginning the semester as a student teacher.

While her husband finishes his senior year of college, Brianna now works on campus for the organization she where she met him. Jeremiah remains an active member of the Christian group.

The couple agrees it's hard balancing college life with marriage. It's especially tough for Jeremiah, because he must contend with both student teaching and schoolwork.

"I have a lot of work to do and not a lot of time to do it," he said.

Despite living together in an off-campus apartment, the couple must work out a schedule of times that they are free in order to spend quality time together. Monday nights, neither have any activities, so they get to see each other then.

"We hang out when we can after school," Jeremiah said, adding, "Weekends, we take advantage of those."

Besides making time for each other, the couple must deal with a tight budget.

"I've paid for all my school," Jeremiah said. "We're gonna have a lot of debt, but you get through it."

To cope, they're thinking small this Valentine's Day.

"We're getting each other little gifts," Brianna said. "We put a price limit on it since we're just out of college."

Brianna said the couple doesn't have any big dinner plans for this Valentine's Day, though she is hoping they can sneak in a meal at Olive Garden, 1945 Waddle Road, before their CRU meeting.

The newlyweds also try to balance a social life with their activities and schoolwork. Jeremiah said that during weeknights they try to get together with other couples and play games, and on weekends he rallies up three of his guy friends and they update each other about their lives.

Juggling work, school and a brand-new marriage is a difficult task, but one Jeremiah said the two can handle

"It's hard," he said, "but not too hard."

**********

Kenny Donnelly, a Dickinson School of Law student, and Steve Lucas (sophomore-English) have only been dating for a little more than a week, but already, they are comfortable enough to joke about everything from politics to football. Donnelly teases Lucas about being an avid Clinton supporter, and Lucas retorts with a comment about his boyfriend's favorite football team, the Buffalo Bills. The pair seems excited about their budding romance.

But not everyone is as happy about the pair's relationship.

"The interracial aspect isn't important, the homosexual aspect is," Donnelly said about his parents and their reaction to his relationship. In his past relationship -- which was three years long -- Donnelly's parents specifically asked not to meet his boyfriend.

When he came out to his family, Donnelly said his father, a traditional man who was formerly in the Army, took it especially hard.

Donnelly said his relationships are something that he and his family "agree not to talk about."

Lucas said that explaining a new relationship to his family was "a process."

"The next step is having a partner to take home," Lucas said.

Both Lucas and Donnelly agree that neither has faced serious harassment or confrontation at Penn State, but they know of other couples who have had problems in the past.

When Lucas came out, he wasn't sure what to expect.

"I was concerned that if you kissed in public, there would be a reaction," he said, but then added, "I haven't really ever felt uncomfortable."

The two plan to enjoy Valentine's Day with a showing of The Vagina Monologues, and possibly a movie.

**********

On the surface, Fabienne Boisson (graduate-English) and Renea Romesberg (junior-women's studies) don't seem to have a lot in common.

Boisson is black and eight-and-a-half years older than her girlfriend Romesberg, who is white and still an undergraduate student.

It hasn't stopped the two from enjoying a four-and-a-half month relationship.

The couple sometimes turns heads, Boisson said, but usually they don't face a lot of hostility when they go out.

"If we are holding hands, people might do a double-take," Boisson said.

"My colleagues that know about my relationship are very accepting," she said.

But not everyone, including families, are always supportive.

"Her father isn't accepting at all. Her mom is OK with it though," Boisson said of Romesberg's parents.

Because of packed daily schedules that don't end until 10 p.m., Boisson said the couple might have to reschedule their Valentine's Day plans.

She said they are hoping to have dinner, spend quality time together and possibly exchange gifts.

She has advice for any couple that is dealing with family members that aren't supportive of their relationship.

"Give them time to deal with it," she said. "Don't sacrifice your happiness for their happiness. Stay true to yourself."