I'm just going to come right out and say it: Penn State has a discrimination problem.

I've been accosted in the office and around town.

Some of my closest friends and co-workers have turned away from me.

And now I've been condemned not once, but twice in the pages of this newspaper.

What was my crime?

Wearing Crocs.

Crocs, if you're not aware, are essentially the ultimate form of footwear evolution.

They are light. They are cheap. They are multi-colored and multifunctional.

And yet ignorant Collegian staff members -- and people in general -- continue to write them off as dorky.

First, there was columnist Mary Kanaskie, who bashed the footwear in her Sept. 4 sermon ("Leave your Crocs, bad fashion at home").

She called the footwear "pathetic" and suggested they be restricted to such activities as "wading in a river or washing a car" or gardening.

Then, in the Oct. 11 Venues, the styles and trends writers suggested I ditch Crocs in favor of "leather loafers and driving shoes."

Look, ladies. No one's saying the Croc is the most dignified shoe around.

But just because a shoe is economical and utilitarian doesn't mean it can't be sexy.

Just take an everyday situation, for example. Two guys are trying to win a girl's affections. One's wearing Crocs. The other's wearing the carcass of a murdered cow.

Suddenly, a torrential downpour starts up, College avenue floods, and girl is swept away by a roaring stream of rainwater.

Who's going to win the girl -- the guy who can swim out and rescue her in his efficient, water-emptying rubbers or the guy who stands helpless on the sideline because he doesn't want to stain his suede?

Plus, at the end of the night, that Crocs-wearing stud can just flip off his shoes and hop in her bed -- no need to deal with clumsy laces.

And the sexiness doesn't stop there.

Crocs are cheap, leaving more money to spend on flowers and chocolate. They signal to vegetarians that you're not going to kill animals just to fit in with the shoe-wearing crowd. And they let future female dermatologists know that you care enough to keep your feet ventilated and happy.

The bottom line is that Crocs are simply the most versatile footwear around.

Going to class? Crocs will work.

Lounging around your dorm? They'll work then, too.

Fording a river? Yep, you're prepared. You just can't go wrong.

So before you condemn Crocs, take a moment to consider just how sexily useful they really are.

If enough people stop and think about the footwear's merits, maybe this mindless anti-Crocs-ism will finally come to an end.

Ryan Pfister is a junior majoring in information sciences and technology and is the Collegian's Web editor. His e-mail address is ryan@psu.edu.