QUESTION: What do I have in common with the writers of The Daily Show?

ANSWER: Neither of us are writing for The Daily Show.

HEYOH

This update will describe events from both Sunday and Monday.

SUNDAY

Magnolia Bakery

We began the day by going to Magnolia and mackin' on some cupcakes.

Much has been written about the cupcakes at Magnolia. Are they really the best cupcakes in the history of the universe?

Answer: Yes. Yes they are.

Let me try to describe to you how great these cupcakes were. Pretend that there was an angel that could only crap cupcakes. That's how great they were.

Guggenheim

The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, who also designed Fallingwater. The style of the building is a giant, 6-floor high spiral. I imagine it must be great fun when the floors get wet.

Other interesting features of the Guggenheim:

1. Unisex bathroom on every floor. [Bathroom... singular. As in, one toilet, one sink. Like at a gas station.]


2. Picasso paintings including LOBSTER V. CAT


3. Naked picture of prepubescent Brooke Shields.

Asscat

Maybe you've heard of the Upright Citizens Brigade theater. It's this collection of really funny people, and they do sketches and improv shows every night for cheap. The cool part is that a lot of those involved are Saturday Night Live or Conan cast members or writers, or other people from other cool things that you've probably seen at some point.

Asscat is an improv show they do every Sunday. The 9:30 show is, for some reason, FREE... all you have to do is line up before 7 p.m. to get tickets. (Around 8:15 they let you go get dinner or whatever and tell you to come back at 9:15.)

The theater itself looks like someone decided to set up a stage in their parents' basement with seats they found on the sidewalk ... but it was comfortable and it worked.

The cast for our performance of Asscat included ...

Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch, Seth Myers, Jack McBrayer (the assistant on "30 Rock"), plus other people who I probably should have remembered because they were all funny, but I didn't, so whatever

and surprise special guest:

John Krazinski... aka JIM FROM THE OFFICE!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG HE IS A DREAMBOAT.

What's really neat about the improv style at Asscat is that it's not "Who's Line" stuff. Basically, the audience would shout out a word, then Krazinski would improvise a monologue about that word, and then the Upright Citizens Brigade would improvise comedy scenes based off the monologue. It was completely hilarious throughout and well worth the $0 we paid to see it.

QUESTION: DOES IMPROV VIOLATE THE WRITERS' STRIKE?

ANSWER: YES IT DOES. SHHH, DON'T TELL ANYONE.

MONDAY

Pie By the Pound

This is a pizza place where they have really long pizzas and they ask you "how much would you like?" And then you say "more, more, less" and then they cut it and toss it in the oven. I got a slice of salad pizza and a slice of breakfast pizza (egg and bacon). It was tasty.

Times Square

This is where it's all happening. (And by "it's all," I mean "BIG FLASHY ADS THAT WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO THROW UP IF YOU STARE AT THEM TOO LONG.")

Did you know that Times Square has ...

1. KNOCKOFF iPODS?
   
   
   
   1. Overheard in knockoff iPod store...
      CUSTOMER: "Is that an iPod?"
      EASTERN EUROPEAN CLERK: "That eez not iPod. Eez other meedia."
      
   
   
   
   
2. A store that only sells M&Ms?
   
3. AN OLIVE GARDEN!?!?

Seriously. It's totally worth going. Can't find this stuff anywhere else in the world.

Italian Restaurant

OK, so forget about the restaurant and let's focus on this awesome conversation happening one table away from us.

There was this man and woman at the table next to us, and it seemed like they were on their first date. And the guy was talking her ear off. And it was hilarious. Conversation excerpts:

"The day people stop buying GM stock is the day dogs and cats roam the streets. End of the world. Mad Max stuff."

"The problem with you is that you still want to save people. You have to stop worrying about other people. That's a mistake young people make."

"Are you using incandescent lighting or fluorescent lighting? You could be saving a s**tload on your electric bills. I'm paying now what I was paying seven years ago."

Well that's pretty much it from New York. Thanks for reading my live blogs this week and have a nice break, everyone.

Look for a wrap-up blog with photos next Thursday.