Yeah, yeah. We're not afraid to say it. Our dreadful attempts at creativity the last two weeks have run the well dry on our part.
So, like USC did to Nebraska, we're just gonna cut right to the chase and prove why this is the best top 10 in the history of the planet.
Or most likely not.
But we'll try.
1. USC (2-0) (2 votes)
The Men of Troy have returned to old-fashioned Trojan football -- running it down people's throats. After spending half a decade catering the offense to its talented quarterbacks, USC is once again "Running Back U." Stefon Johnson and C.J. Gable lead the way with 345 combined rushing yards.
2. LSU (3-0)
The Tigers' defense has given up seven points in three games. 'Nuff said.
3. Oklahoma (3-0)
Sam Bradford -- 11 touchdown passes -- leads a revamped Sooner offense that look to claim the Big 12 for the second consecutive season.
4. Florida (3-0)
Urban Meyer has officially unleashed his option offense at Florida, and Tebow looks like he was born to play in it.
5. West Virginia
The dynamic duo of Pat White and Steve Slaton might have found a worthy addition -- freshman Noel Devine is averaging 15.5 yards per carry (17 for 256).
6. California (3-0)
Cal may be the only team that can beat USC, and it gets the Trojans at home. We are standing by our prediction that quarterback Nate Longshore will be a Heisman finalist.
7. Ohio State (3-0)
The Buckeyes dispelled the myth that Washington could be a surprise team by dominating them 33-14 on Saturday. With Michigan's struggles, last year's national runner-ups have slipped through the cracks, but an Oct. 27 date with Penn State will decide both team's fates.
8. Wisconsin (3-0)
The Badgers keep quietly winning football games. But their first test is this week against Iowa.
9. Texas (3-0)
The Longhorns were able to sneak out of Central Florida with a victory, but Colt McCoy and his teammates can't afford to keep testing fate.
10. Penn State (3-0)
We were kind of dreading putting the Nittany Lions in the top 10 because we didn't want to seem biased, but UCLA's performance against Utah forced our hand. The Lions are once again looking to escape Ann Arbor with a perfect record against a floundering Michigan team. Hopefully the clock operator at the Big House learned how to tell time.
OK, everyone knows that Barry Bonds broke Hank Aaron's career home run record with an August dinger off Washington's Mike Bacsik. It's pretty much the only certainty surrounding the record, with baseball talking heads debating Bonds' "cleanliness."
We're well aware that MAKE PLAYS isn't bringing anything new to the table right here, and no one cares about our opinion anyway, so let's just cut to the chase.
Fashion designer Marc Ecko today announced that he was the winning bidder for the famous ball, shelling out more than $750,000 for it -- much more than the predicted value.
But Ecko's ulterior motives may have pushed him to spend the extra dough. Finally, the fans' opinion of Bonds is going to matter in the long run.
Ecko has set up a Web site, Vote756.com, to allow fans to vote on exactly what will happen to the ball, presenting visitors with three options.
We personally like No. 2, but we're glad in general that Ecko has decided to do something cool with his purchase.
More shakeups at the zenith of the polls this past weekend, and certainly MAKE PLAYS has devoted tireless hours into putting out this week's edition.
Unfortunately, we needed a quick fix for an angle, so we decided to semi-rip off ESPN's Bottom 10 and use some pop culture references to describe each squad.
So get some Orville Redenbacher, and enjoy our very special box-office top 10.
1. LSU (1 vote + tiebreak vote) (2-0)
There was some disagreement over the top spot this week, but one thing we couldn't disagree on was the fact that LSU absolutely tore Virginia Tech -- a member of last week's top 10 -- to shreds.
2. USC (1 vote) (1-0)
The Trojans didn't play this past weekend, and thus fell out of the top spot. One of us didn't think USC should be penalized for its day off.
3. Oklahoma (2-0)
Miami thought it had a chance. Instead, it got attacked from all directions by Oklahoma's magical offense.
4. Florida (2-0)
Florida beat up on those much weaker than it for the past two weeks. We'll see how good the Gators really are this week against Tennessee. Will they meet their match, even though they look untouchable?
5. West Virginia (2-0)
Run. Run more. Run again. Then run. Then run again. Repeat.
6. Louisville (2-0)
The Cardinals had a good ol' fashioned shootout with Middle Tennessee State last week. Expect one with Andre Woodson and Kentucky this week.
7. Texas (2-0)
Ut-ohhh, they're back. The Longhorns emerged from the shadows in the fourth quarter to drop fear into the hearts of TCU -- and the entire country.
8. California (2-0)
Everyone always seems to forget about Cal. We're guessing it'll be let out of its cage at some point, especially with some marquee matchups coming up.
9. UCLA (2-0)
Eleven returning starters on defense? That cohesive unit could stand up to any assault.
10. Wisconsin (2-0)
Wisconsin head coach Brett Bielema said his Badgers were lucky to escape Vegas as winners. I wish all of us were that lucky.
9. Georgia - "Mighty Ducks." Let down loss after impressive win. Just like every year. Just like the Hawks.
10. Appalachian State - "Cinderella." Nah, the Mountaineers didn't lose. But their carriage has at least converted a little bit more back into a pumpkin.
Pretty much everything that needs to be said about what happened to the top five last week has been said. So without further ado, let us bring you this week's brand new top 10, with a visual explanation for each of our votes!
1. USC (1-0) (2 votes)
OK, the Trojans' 38-10 win against Idaho wasn't as completely ludicrous as one might have expected. But what Southern Cal did during the first quarter of the game after its first touchdown is easily one of the most touching moments we've seen on a field in a long time.
Beloved Trojan kicker Mario Danelo was found dead just days after his team's triumph against Michigan in January's Rose Bowl after a fall down a cliff, and USC chose to honor him in a unique and incredibly heartfelt way.
The picture describes the scene far better than we can:
2. LSU (1-0, 1-0 SEC)
The impressive 45-0 win helped LSU leapfrog West Virginia this week. Mississippi State managed to hang with the Tigers throughout the first half, but the following video pretty much describes what happened to it in the second.
Watch #42 Zach Smith get absolutely pwned:
3. West Virginia (1-0)
Our fears were semi-confirmed. The Mountaineers trounced Western Michigan, pouring on 62 points, and Pat White's aerial assault was relatively impressive. But the Broncos countered with 24 of their own, thanks to 277 yards of offense. WVU's defense ranked a mediocre seventh in the Big East, and it may run into trouble when some of the conference's heavy hitters roll into Morgantown.
Anyway, think WVU will have problems when Steve Slaton bolts for the pros? Think again. Check out true freshman Noel Devine's high school highlights, if you haven't already:
4. Florida (1-0)
Florida disposed of Division I-AA (we REFUSE to call it Football Championship Subdivision) Western Kentucky 45-3, but we're not gonna take those wins for granted anymore. The Gators looked impressive all-around, and jumpy quarterback Tim Tebow was impressive in his first start.
5. Louisville (1-0)
Heisman Trophy hopeful Brian Brohm threw for 375 yards in his season debut, but his stock took a hit when he started the second half with a 49-10 lead against Murray State.
Nah, not really. LOL.
West Virginia better look out.
The 73-10 thwomping is like a video game score. Here's some highlights:
6. Oklahoma (1-0)
Quarterback Sam Bradford - 21/23, 363 yards, 3 TDs
Sooner fans say it's OK to keep washing cars, or whatever it is you "did."
7. California (1-0)
Some say we reached putting Cal in our preseason top 10 last week. We would like to thank Nate Longshore (who we still believe to be a Heisman candidate) and DeSean Jackson for proving us right, for now.
The Golden Bears were also the only team in our top 10 to beat a top 25 team this week.
Or WERE they?
Anyway, imagine John Madden or Lee Corso going "WEEP! WOOP! ZOOM! SWISH!" when you watch this video:
8. Wisconsin (1-0)
The Badgers didn't do anything particularly wrong in their 42-21 victory against Washington State, one of the most legitimate victories in this poll this week. However, the entire Big Ten takes a hit for what happened.
Still, Tyler Donovan proved he could follow in the footsteps of one of the 672 unflashy yet reliable quarterbacks that came before him, and that's a great thing for Wisconsin.
After all, they just need a QB to hand the ball to this guy:
9. Georgia (1-0)
That Bulldog defense is absolutely stifling, and young stud Matthew Stafford played easily the most complete game of his career. According to ESPN analyst Bob Davie, the D printed out t-shirts mocking an Oklahoma State Web site claim that the Cowboy offense was the country's best. The result was a 35-14 dismantling of a good Oklahoma State team that should probably make a bowl this year.
Though Georgia seems to fizzle out year after year, this game was a really strong foundation for 2007.
10. Appalachian State (1-0)
They're eligible in our poll.
Dropped out: No. 4 Texas (unimpressive, lethargic win against should-be I-AA Arkansas State 21-13), No. 5 Michigan (mmmmhmmmm), No. 9 Virginia Tech (emotional but unconvincing win, 17-7 against East Carolina)
When we made our preseason college football top 10, we said that Michigan would be tested early at home, and rallied off the names of Oregon, Notre Dame and Penn State.
Well, we'd like to apologize to Appalachian State, which just pulled off unquestionably the biggest upset in the history of the sport . Sure, it had won the Division I-AA (now Football Championship Subdisivion) National Championship two years running, but no I-AA team had EVER beaten a ranked I-A team.
So here's to you, Mountaineers, for proving why college football is the nicest thing ever.