It's News to Me

When it comes to helping me sort out the occasional academic nightmare that is two majors and a minor, my dad is generally pretty awesome. At the beginning of my freshman year, he emailed me an Excel file that he calls "the magic spreadsheet." It lists every single requirement for every random major I'm considering, it changes colors when I add new courses, and every few weeks he sends me an updated edition. I have no idea how it works, but it is, in short, magical.

But, for all his concern about my academic future, I am fairly sure my father would not stoop to the level of this enterprising Japanese man, who literally impersonated his son to help him pass an exam.

CNN reports that the 54-year-old man "put on glasses and straightened his hair to look more like the picture on his son's identity card." According to the story, he runs a company that distributes medicine and took the exam because he wanted his son to join him there.

Even better? The son had no idea of the plan.

Alas, it was all in vain, because Japanese police arrested him after an official noticed he "looked much older than the picture on the card." No, really?

The man, who apologized and confessed once he was discovered, has since been charged with forging official documents.

All things aside, this strikes me as kind of adorable. The mental image of this guy meticulously straightening his hair and pulling together a little disguise is pathetic, but endearing. After all, he's just a hardworking father who merely wants his son to join him in the family business.

I just want to know how old the son is. If he's younger than 20, props to the father for sheer audacity.

-- Aubrey

Welcome to the news. This will be your daily dose of anything and everything news-related. Every day, we, copy editors at The Daily Collegian, will post about the most important or the quirkiest goings on in the world. These, after all, are the days of our lives.

This semester is sure to entertain: A new president, transforming medicine, a slumping economy and everything else that is sure to pop up will provide us an unlimited source for commentary.

As copy editors, we man the news for the Collegian. We read every local article that is published and are responsible for making sure all international/national breaking news gets in the paper the next day. This sometimes means holding the presses at midnight to make room for a story about the death of Pennsylvania's lieutenant governor or integrating the latest developments of a national story into the Collegian's local coverage.

For tomorrow, you can expect coverage of President-elect Barack Obama's inauguration, coverage that goes beyond the pages of the Collegian.

It's the big day. Despite political affiliation, everyone on campus can appreciate the big news of the day. President-elect Barack Obama is set to swear in as our nation's 44th president in less than an hour and Penn State students are scurrying to pick the place they want to be when history strikes.

The HUB is quickly filling up and I'm on my way to Foster Auditorium in the library hoping to snag a good seat for the live screening.

The headlines on today's papers say it all (and usually in three words or less): "Great Expectations," "Obama takes power" and our personal favorite, "Obama to realize dream." Check out the Newseum for all of today's front pages.

According to the media, today is going to be the greatest day of our lives for a lot of people. While it probably will be ― and should be because it's costing more than $160 million ― I tend to think tomorrow, Obama's first full day in office, will be even more historic. The decisions he makes then will mean more than any words he says today.

... But I still want to see what the man has to say! On my way to get a seat...

-Mar

Unlike what appears to be half the country, I am not watching the inauguration from the National Mall -- I'm in the control room at ABC's Washington bureau, which, for a journalism dork like me, is almost as cool. I've been here since 5 a.m., running errands for the producers, answering the phone and reading the AP wire in case breaking news comes through.

In its own way, it's pretty exciting being in a major newsroom today -- there are at least 30 TV screens here with different news feeds from around the city, and every time something new happens or Obama comes onscreen, everyone jumps into action. The phones have been ringing constantly since I got here, and the crew in the control room expects to be here until at least 3 a.m.

For the most part, everyone has been pretty businesslike -- the producers basically have to coordinate everything going on today, from updates from correspondents to stock footage from the Capitol. But, of course, when the Obama girls came onscreen at the Capitol Building just before the inauguration ceremony, the collective response was "awwwww."

Everyone went silent when Obama started to speak.

All things considered, it's been a good day so far. When I reported to ABC this morning, I had assumed that I would be assigned to the parade route or the National Mall, but getting to see what goes on behind the scenes at a major news network during one of the biggest political events of our lifetime is absolutely awesome.

- Aubrey

As a production assistant for ABC over inauguration weekend, my duties mainly include getting drinks for people, standing in for distinguished historians during on-set rehearsals and occasionally answering phones. I also get to sit in the control room, which -- as I mentioned before -- is any aspiring journalist's dream.

When I am not dashing around on producers' errands, I spend my time randomly running into famous people at the bureau. So far, I have met Charlie Gibson at a vending machine and Bob Woodruff in line for free hoagies at lunch.

Generally, this is my standard mode of operation:
1. Spot distinguished broadcast personality
2. Squeak excitedly
3. Shake distinguished personality's hand, ignoring their obvious confusion
4. Introduce myself; banter wittily until it gets too awkward for words

It seems to be working out well.

My good friend Alex (otherwise known as The Daily Collegian's arts chief), who's here at ABC as well, saw Joe Biden leaving the Mayflower Hotel yesterday, and various celebrities are expected to be in town tonight for the inaugural balls.

Above all, though, this weekend has given me a new appreciation for broadcast journalism. A few hours ago, during Obama's luncheon at the Capitol, we got word that Sen. Ted Kennedy had collapsed and everyone was instantly on alert. For a print journalism major like me, it's really interesting to see how much coordination goes into breaking a story in broadcast journalism -- not only do you have to get someone to report the story, but you have to find a cameraperson to get the shot and producers to make sure the story goes through. It's a complicated, difficult process, and I'm continually impressed by how everyone here simply knows exactly what needs to be done.

-Aubrey

Bootleg copy of The Dark Knight that turned out to actually be a videotaped version of The Notebook. Check. Knockoff Nike Air Force One sneakers. Check. Counterfeit freshly caught Alaskan wild salmon... Wait. What?
Apparently vendors at my local farmer's market (where they also sell DVDs; don't ask) and my hook-up in New York aren't the only ones trying to satisfy customers with cheap knockoffs of real deal consumer items. The only difference is that food providers and their fake fish aren't selling their products on the cheap. The name is the same, as is the price, but what you get isn't what you think you're paying for.
The list of commonly counterfeited food products includes olive oil, vanilla, honey and maple syrup; all essential to the makeup of a healthy college student's diet. But while these may seem like trivial foods to counterfeit, the concept is just gross. I mean, why?!?! It's difficult enough going food shopping as it is, trying to choose between the real Frosted Flakes and the fo-Frosted Flakes, but now I have to ask "Are these flakes even flakes?!?!"
Perhaps it's not that big of deal and I'm just blowing this out of proportion. True, I'd hate to be paying substantially more money for fake wild salmon than actual wild salmon, but what it all comes down to is flavor. And while I do consider myself to be a food connoisseur, I have yet to taste a difference.
But, having heard about this possibility of eating counterfeit food, I'll definitely keep my taste buds alert. Or maybe I'll just cut out the middle man and buy my Alaskan salmon from a reliable source.

Brrrrrrrrrandon

Love is in the air in Guanajuato, Mexico. Or at least smooching is.

See, the mayor of the city, Eduardo Romero, recently dubbed it "the kissing capital of the world," according to an Associated Press article.

Romero, apparently, is trying to (over)compensate for a new anti-obscenity law that some interpreted as a ban on public kissing. And while almost no one likes being witness to PDAs, the residents of the Guanajuato were in an uproar at the puritanical ruling.

The hullabaloo caused by the citizens prompted the launch of an advertising campaign; one that featured a couple snogging (it's British for kissing!) on one of the city's picturesque cobbled streets, with the words Guanajuato, the kissing capital running underneath.

And to stake even greater claim on the self-appointed title, the city boasts a romantic tale of forbidden love - erm, kissing - in its past. There were once two lovers who were prohibited by their families to be together. But fortunately for them their windows were quite close - across a narrow street that is now called "Kissing Alley." You fill in the blanks.

So, happy kissing to all the couples in Guanajuato! Feel free to display your ... love ... to each other openly on the streets.

-- Brianna

Ever wonder where former Vice President Dick Cheney went in the weeks following Sept. 11? When all the Bush administration would tell the press and the public was that Cheney was at an "undisclosed location"?
Well, it turns out one of these undisclosed locations was near Waynesboro, Pa., less than three hours from State College.
According to my exhaustive investigative reporting (read: wikipedia search), the vice president sometimes resides in an underground complex near Blue Ridge Summit on Raven Rock Mountain when he is "at an undisclosed location" in case of an attack on the United States. The complex is most commonly called "Site R", but also Raven Rock Mountain Complex or the Alternate Joint Communications Center. It was created in 1951 as a command center in the event of attack on Washington, D.C. when the threat of Soviet nuclear attacks had the nation in a frenzy.
Rock Raven Mountain is also known as the backup, or underground Pentagon, and many of the facility's activities are classified. We do know, however, that the facility runs more than 38 communications systems for its users, which include several U.S. military and intelligence organizations.
Of course, many of us would love to go there, but no such luck. On May 25, 2007, the Federal Register published a Defense Department policy declaring that it is unlawful for any person "entering in or on the property ... to make any photograph, sketch, picture, drawing, map or graphical representation of the Raven Rock Mountain Complex without first obtaining the necessary permission."
Even if Cheney is no longer in residence, the U.S. government does not want you as its univited guest.
It's easy to see why even before he was wheelchair-bound and top-hat-wearing, comparisons between Dick Cheney and Dr. Strangelove were hardly a leap. After all, what better hideout for the malevolent archnemisis of the Bush Administration than a clandestine fallout shelter?
In an unsurprising VP development, newly inaugurated Joe Biden announced today that "undisclosed locations" aren't really his style. According to politico.com, the new vice president's aides plan to issue a "daily guidance" e-mail to reporters Friday night detailing where he has been for the past three days and where he's going over the weekend.
As a member of the media, I can't exactly complain about this move toward significantly greater transparency. But I also can't hide my disappointment that Biden's megawatt smile and immaculate hairplugs won't be gracing one of the government's coolest underground fortifications.
Though most of us can hardly say we miss him, I'd have to agree with Jon Stewart's famous segment and assert that perhaps we still "don't know Dick."

- Leslie

My dad is addicted to his Blackberry. He bought the phone/mini computer/"best invention ever" over the summer and it has been his inseparable companion since, attached to his hip as he glances at it often -- checking it during commercials, right before dinner, etc.
In the weeks leading up to Barack Obama's inauguration, my dad read with interest the articles about Obama losing his Crackberry privileges once he took office -- remarking that he could never be president himself if it entailed giving up his "precious."
Well never fear dad -- you, along with the rest of the Blackberry addicted, can become president after all -- Obama was given clearance to keep his device late last week. He'll use it for personal and some professional communications.
Now, unlike my dear friend Margaret Miceli, whose column was in today's paper, I don't believe that Obama keeping his Blackberry is in any way selfish. More importantly, I doubt he will use it to pass along any highly sensitive communications that could even potentially put the nation's security at risk.
Instead, I hope to see Obama use his Blackberry to email and text friends and family, maybe even his daughters and gather opinions from outside the Oval Office as he continues his presidency.

~Kat

Moms vs. Facebook. One of the latest obscenity battles is pictures of women breastfeeding on Facebook.

The lactivists have put up a strong front against Facebook, which removed numerous photos of women feeding their babies. The lactivists have created Facebook groups with almost 200,000 members (compared to the "Breastfeeding IS Obscene" group with 101 members), have had a nurse-in outside of Facebook headquarters in California and also had a virtual protest against the social networking site.

Facebook's Terms of Use states that users must not upload anything obscene and the company has the right to "delete or remove (without notice) any Site Content or User Content in its sole discretion, for any reason or no reason ... that in the sole judgment of the Company violates this Agreement or the Facebook Code of Conduct, or which might be offensive, illegal, or that might violate the rights, harm, or threaten the safety of users or others."

Many in the Facebook community have taken sides. Some say: How can a picture of a woman breastfeeding be offensive when naked college boys squatting on toilets routinely pop up on our Newsfeed? Others say the obscenity rules should apply for both lactivists' nipples and barely-18 bombshells' nipples.

And although this controversy directly applies to few of us on campus. One artist has explored the implications it may have on larger society by creating a self-portrait composed of dozens of photos of his very own nipples -- which is now his Facebook profile picture.

And Congress said unto man: Let there be digital, and there was digital.

That's about the gist of the cable transition about to unfold later next month, as a switch from analog to digital signals will be made. On Feb. 15, all television operating off over-the-air signals will go black and fuzzy, no longer enabling the viewer to watch their favorite episodes of "House" or any number of annoying infomercials.

The move, as easy as it will occur (you literally have to do nothing if you live anywhere near civilization), was questioned by the newly inaugurated president and Democrats on Capitol Hill. Apparently, Obama and the Dems feel that not enough Americans will be prepared for the transition, resulting in mass pandemonium the likes of which this nation has not seen since Orson Welles' broadcast of "War of the Worlds" in 1930. And that was pretty bad.

Kudos to you Mr. President for caring so deeply about each and every American and their love of television, but in all honesty, there are probably a hundred other aspects of American society that need fixing first (apparently we're having an economic problem).

Congress's decision to veto the Obama suggestion may be the right move, because who hasn't seen those annoying "Get your digital converter box now for FREE!" adds on TV. And who doesn't have the capability to Google "digital transition, Feb. 15" and access the FCC's explanatory Web site about how the transition is going to go down? I'll tell you who... people who don't deserve to have TV in the first place.

If calling a toll free number or accessing an Internet site to download a free coupon is too much work, than maybe you shouldn't be staring aimlessly into the tube in the first place.

brandon

Let's face it: We're a nation that expects to pee for free.

Because when you got to go, you got to go. And even if you're not in the comfort of your home, you expect a bathroom will pretty much be provided for you, without cost or hassle.

But - as I realized first hand from study abroad in Amsterdam - the rest of the world doesn't quite share that mentality. We were constantly scrounging in to our change purses for that elusive 40 euro cent (and in the busy season 1 EURO!) to get in to the bathroom. Even paying cover at bars didn't guarantee you free use of the facilities (though at the good bars it did.)

After months of living there is had become second nature to either make sure you brought change or know the few places in the city that you could sneak in to pee (i.e. McDonald's in the winter - tourist season they began to charge). But visitors from America have been stuck holding their bladders - and risking kidney infections! - because they don't have the coin.

Well fear not, intrepid travelers. Don't let this hold you back one second longer - if you want to travel to Venice.

The city wants to make itself user-friendly - and keep angry tourists from using the gutters as their urinals instead of paying the 1 euro fee -- in terms of public restrooms, so it's going online.

Now, anyone planning on a visit to the fair city can visit a Web site and with a single click of a mouse buy a pass for the length of their trip. From what I can gather from the Reuters reporting is that it works somewhat like a bus pass: Visitors can pay 7 Euros online for 10 toilet visits over 5 days in high season, and 5 Euros in the low tourist season, or the online day rate for 2 visits is 1 euro in low season, 2 Euros in the high season.

While I don't think this will necessarily cut down on confusion - like I said, we pretty much take free bathroom use for granted, so why would we even check to see if something like this existed - I like the idea of trying to clean up the city and help tourists in the process.

But either way, if you're thinking of traveling to Venice in the near future, check this out. That's 10 bathroom breaks for the price of seven. Score!
--- Brianna

As a journalism student, I understand the importance of internships, and even as newspapers are cutting summer programs (as well as laying off full-time staff), they remain essential for job applications.
However, it seems some overly involved parents have taken a new route to securing internships for their kids -- by charging it to their Mastercard.
And the price isn't cheap -- parents are shelling out $8,000 or more to get their kids internships at places such as "fashion house Donna Karan International or public-relations shop Ruder Finn," according to the Wall Street Journal.
Other parents are securing personal and professional consultants who polish their kid's resume and send out letters to multiple target employers -- in one case 133 offices.
Worse, an increase in internships offered for sale last year was seen by CharityFolks.com, WSJ says, with employers including Rolling Stone, Elle magazine and Atlantic Records. "A one-week internship at a music-production company sold last month for $12,000," according to WSJ.
Seriously?
And these examples are transactions that are made somewhat publicly -- I wonder how many parents out there bribe potential internship employers directly?
Internship placements should be based purely on skill and experience.
Period.
End of Story.
~~Kat

Most of my friends know that I have been hopelessly obsessed with Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice since the age of 16, to the point where I used to carry around a dog-eared copy of the novel with me and consult it at random. (That copy is currently sitting on my nightstand in my dorm room.) I can pretty much quote most of the book from memory, and if I ever have the good fortune to meet someone named Fitzwilliam Darcy, that man is MINE. No questions asked.

Unfortunately, there remain some philistines who insist that Austen's unparalleled masterpiece is dry, outdated and stifling. But now, it appears that author Seth Grahame-Smith has arrived at a way to appease readers looking for a bit more action in Austen: add zombies.

The cleverly-titled Pride and Prejudice and Zombies will reprint the text of Austen's novel with exciting zombie-fighting action sequences interspersed between balls and upper-crust banter. Classy.

When I first heard about the reprinting, I was ready to picket the publishing company. But after learning that the new novel's first line is "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains," I was hooked.

Perhaps fighting off the undead together is exactly what Darcy and Elizabeth need. Instead of lounging in drawing rooms and passive-aggressively flirting at each other, they can let off steam by splitting open zombie heads. At the very least, it'll give everyone in the novel something to do besides attend formal gatherings like it's their job.

Though I may have just lost my place in the ranks of Austen purists, I'm kind of excited about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. After all, it might introduce my favorite author to readers who wouldn't normally pick up the original novel, which is always a good thing.

And it remains a truth universally acknowledged that zombies generally make everything better.

-- Aubrey