Yesterday, Reuters reported that an official in Mexico is pushing a law that would fine people for breaking off an engagement, with the money going to the jilted fiancee. This proposal got us thinking: what other social blunders should people have to reimburse each other for? The article doesn't put a dollar amount on the breaking of an engagement, but since we're not actually legislating here, we'll do that too.
Starting small, how about the jerk who takes up both armrests at a movie theater? This guy knows he's annoying people on both sides of him and he just ignores it, so it's definitely worthy of a fine. Amount: $5
On about the same level, spilling something on a stranger while walking down the street. A double fine will be levied for causing them to drop their phone. On a related note, the fine would be nullified if the person bumped into is walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk. Honestly, if such a malcontent someone refuses to move over, they deserve to have their arm broken in addition to their phone. Amount: $5
Leaving a voicemail that simply says some variant of, "Hey, call me back," is also unacceptable if you're calling someone who has your number. If they see you called, then they'll call you back; it's that simple. Amount: $5
Leaving an empty toilet paper roll in a restroom is another gaffe that we consider fine-worthy. In a public restroom, this fine would fall on the janitor, but in someone's house, it would cost the last person who used it -- at triple. Being reduced to looking around for spare toilet paper, tissues or even a label you can peel off a shampoo bottle while stranded hopelessly on the toilet is an experience no man or woman should ever have to suffer. Not that that's ever happened to us. Amount: $10
Talking on your cell phone in a public place is another fine-worthy offense. Not much is more annoying than hearing some idiot talk about how he/she, "Got, like, totally wasted and puked everywhere," on the bus/in the movie theater/anywhere. There would have to be some sort of chart plotting decibels against location to determine the fine amount. For example, screaming into your phone in a hospital nursery would be a pretty high fine, while whispering into it in a McDonald's would hardly be anything at all. Amount: Variable
Two words: close parkers. If you're on the line, or taking up two spaces even, you need to take the few seconds to back up and pull back in. Or, if this particular law is passed, pay the fine. Amount: $20
Sure, these aren't huge fines, but if they were enacted it might go a long way toward cutting down annoying behaviors. Of course, they could more than make up for themselves with the inherent annoyance of ridiculous laws, but that's something we're willing to risk.