It's News to Me

Every day, a large portion of my downtime (two or three hours, tops) is devoted to certain place on the Web that I call home.

It's called Oddly Enough, and it is wonderful.

At Oddly Enough, you get all the news that really doesn't matter, but is highly entertaining. A quick glance today brought to surface a giant Lego man and "Hello Kitty"-clad cops.

Let me explain:

In Bangkok, police who are caught littering or coming late to work are now being punished a la Scarlet Letter by sporting a pink "Hello Kitty" armband for several days. Reuters also reported that the officers are not allowed to tell others what they did to earn their stripes. "Let people guess what they have done," a police colonel said.

For the lovebirds: India is willing to foot the bill for a second honeymoon for you and your significant other. There's only one condition: You have to refrain from having your first child for two years. Putting off a screaming child and getting a vacation for it? Sign me up.

A Berlin woman had surgery to remove a pencil from where it was lodged in her skull. (Simpsons, anyone?) Well, that's not really unusual, until Reuters reports that the accident took place in 1952, when she was four years old.

A body spotted in Amsterdam waters on Tuesday caught the attention of Oddly Enough after a local resort used it as a decoration. But there was no law-breaking here, as the 8-foot smiling man was a large version of a Lego toy. One witness guessed it had come from England.

And finally, our friends from the East have decided to out-class Europe at a soccer game against Barcelona Sunday. Chinese authorities told the fans that anyone caught swearing, fighting or throwing trash would be banned from soccer games for a year. This is just the newest attempt by China to clean up its act for next year's Olympic games.

It might seem like just a ploy to get you to keep reading the news, but the next time you're bored and you've seen every new photo on collegehumor.com and read the Collegian front to back (or finished the Sudoku), check out my home sweet home.

Like I said, it's wonderful.

Source: http://uk.reuters.com/news/oddlyEnough

Some of the biggest stories in the news right now include men. Karl Rove announced his upcoming resignation. Rudy Giuliani said he can stop illegal immigration in the United States. Rep. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.), who served as the longest Republican speaker of the House, announced he will retire at the end of the term. But not one of these men qualified for the It's News to Me's "Media Man of the Week."

To qualify for this prestigious award, one must control the media or simply by too undeniably awesome to skip over on Oddly Enough (see previous blog).

Coming to us from across the big pond, a doorman in Britain created a media frenzy when he sent vacation pictures to his local paper. The photos of a great white shark were taken in South Africa, but he told the paper they were from local waters. For having this much control, Kevin Keeble is an obvious nomination.

Britain's next door neighbor calls itself home to the next man, er, boy nominated. A 16-year-old boy bought an English version of the newest installment of the Harry Potter series and translated the first few chapters into French. He was taken into custody by French police for counterfeit. But the boy was simply trying to help out his fellow citizens, who have to wait until the end of October for their copies.

One step more takes us to our next nominee, an unnamed German who refuses to get cheated -- even out of 40 euro cents. The man filed suit for fraud after he said he was overcharged for a phone call he was duped into making. The game show he called offered him a question that had no answer. You, sir, are nominated for your street 'cents.' (Apologies.)

Tokyo can now lay claim to the craziest biker in the world, thanks to our next nominee: a 54-year-old motorcyclist. The man grazed a safety barrier while riding, causing excruciating pain, he said. However, he didn't notice until his next stop (app. 1.2 miles down the road) that his leg was missing from the knee down. The reason for his nomination? He called a friend to pick it up, rather that going back himself.

And finally our last man, well... former man, nominated is Jinzhu, the Chinese panda who gave birth to twins this week. In 1996, the panda was declared male despite *ahem* falling short of some requirements. It wasn't until 2005 that doctors made Jinzhu into a "normal girl." So thank you, Jinzhu for putting Chinese science on its head.

Those are the nominees. The winner is up to you.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKL0973312720070809
http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKL0808150920070808
http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKL1313163020070813
http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKT13970120070814
http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKPEK4670420070809

Wait for it, wait for it... Mike Tyson is "very serious" about fighting women on his upcoming world tour.

Awesome.

Because there aren't already enough scumbag guys out there beating up defenseless women. And Tyson does have a history of sexual assault, so it's only logical that he should try to legitimize his inner-Neanderthal and call out some of the most prominent female boxers in the field.

It makes you wonder how people like Tyson can even function in normal society. I almost want to see it happen because, the way that Tyson has been spiraling downward, he'd probably lose anyway.

In other odd news this week, scientists have located a rare meteorite in a Kansas wheat field. The meteorite is a pallasite meteorite. Less than one percent of meteorites found on Earth are pallasite, making this find very rare.

I hate to draw parallels, but didn't Clark Kent a.k.a. Superman also crash to Earth in a strange meteorite in a Kansas wheat field?

It might just be the comic-book nerd in me, but I'm going to put that theory out there, and you guys can think whatever you want. I'm just saying that if a blue-suited bumpkin starts saving cute, female reporters from The Daily Planet, I called it way ahead of time.

Apparently confident students do worse in math than self-conscious kids.

According to a report by the Brookings Institution's Brown Center on Education Policy, nations with the best math scores also have the least happy, least confident math students.

Wow, so there is a reason mathematicians are nerds with poor social skills. Thank you Brookings Institution for supplying bullies (of all ages) across the world with more artillery to make fun of geeks.

World's most generous woman dies at the age of 100 and donates 35.6 million dollars to cancer research.

Apparently this lady lived in a small condo and denied herself in-home care in an effort to raise as much money as possible for diabetes and cancer research. She willed it away after her death because she didn't want any recognition.

Thank you Eugenia Dodson, the world needs more individuals like you.

---Alex

Howdy, folks. It's your friendly neighborhood copy desk here to give you witty commentary on the news.

What's a copy desk you ask? It's a group of Collegian staffers that read everything that goes in the paper everyday for grammar and other mistakes. We also write headlines and proof pages before they get sent to the presses.

Sometimes we're here until 1 a.m. (or later!) just to make sure you get your daily paper.

Because we read many articles everyday -- national, international, state, local and otherwise -- we know the lowdown on the news and are also always eager to offer our opinions. I, as the head of this here copy desk, will begin the semester with my own take on a recent story. So, without further ado, here goes:

Sex, scandal, lies and infidelity. No, this isn't the tag line for a new, racy prime time series -- this is Washington. And the plot just got thicker.

Senators from his own party are calling for an ethics committee review of Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, who earlier this summer plead guilty to disorderly conduct related to a police sting in a men's bathroom.

The police maintain the senator's actions were consistent with an individual soliciting sexual conduct from another man. The arresting officer claimed Craig flashed his business card after being shown the officer's police identification, allegedly asking, "What do you think about that?" as if it would get him out of the situation. What's worse, the senator is now vehemently denying misconduct, claiming his earlier guilty plea was entered in hopes of "making it go away."

Well, honestly, Craig, who taught you ethics? Mark Foley?

Or maybe you just wanted to take a page out of the book of Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, who is under scrutiny for his relationship with a contractor who helped oversee a renovation project that more than doubled the size of the senator's home.

Or perhaps Sen. David Vitter, R-La., who acknowledged that his phone number appeared in records of a Washington-area business that prosecutors have said was a front for prostitution.

My burning question after hearing all this is not a plea for a little sexual repression from our boys on Capitol Hill. Rather, it is a query to the American people: Why do you keep electing gay Republican senators?

Seriously, I can think of many individuals that would better convey your Red State views, one of which ryhmes with "Schmantorum." But he was just too conservative for you, wasn't he? So you voted him out of office and all along you've been electing what I will now dub the "metropublican."

Much like the metrosexual, the metropublican claims to be straight and/or straight laced, while his actions clearly display otherwise. Instead of wearing popped collars and tight jeans (the senate frowns upon it), he asks for sex from strange men in bathroom stalls.

Make a decision, America! Which way do you want your representatives to swing? Because if you can't handle a black or female president, I doubt you'll be able to deal with a commander in chief who charges taxpayers to pay for his cabana boy.