As the weather improves and the semester comes to a close, there is increased temptation to get sloshed and play Frisbee on your lawn until you collapse.

But with parents' weekends and the unavoidable visits by family members during this time of the year, it may be best to find some sober activities around town.

During the day it's pretty obvious that you and your parents will spend a large amount of time strolling the streets of College Avenue, purchasing Penn State merchandise -- as if it's not frustrating enough that your T-shirt drawer does not close as it is. Then you'll take the inevitable trip to Wal-Mart where they'll buy you a box fan and some ramen noodles while your little brother bitches about being bored. All this is well and good but what are you to do with these beloved family members when the sun goes down?

I noticed that many of us have chosen to take Mom and Dad out to the bar. This is a horrible idea. You might be able to handle three pitchers of Captain and Coke but one martini will more than likely send Mom over the edge. The last thing you want to see is your parents grinding to "Make Love in this Club" and the inevitable make-out session that will ensue afterward. Plan ahead people -- there are plenty of fun family activities around State College that won't give you nightmares for the rest of your life.

For starters, you could take Mom and Pop out for dinner. Instead of hitting up the old fall-backs of The Corner Room and The Deli, try something a little more eclectic such as Zola's or Otto's on Atherton Street. In these cases, however, you may have to allow your parents to foot the bill, but they'll appreciate your taste.

Another little known secret of downtown State College is the State Theatre, which offers yet another sober option for movie-goers. Granted it will probably be an obscure film that no one in your party will enjoy, at least you're becoming more cultured. The State Theatre is a historical gem that offers films, theatre, dance performances and concerts, and your mere knowledge of it will impress the parentals.

Perhaps you have a sibling who doesn't want to sit through a sub-titled French film? In such a case, consider a trip to one of the area's bowling alleys. Northland Bowl, on Martin Street, and Bellefonte Lanes, a short drive out of town, will be sure to please. (Plus there's booze... just control yourself).

Oh and did you know Penn State competes in sporting events other than football? Shocking, I know. Going to a baseball game or track meet is another option when the family is in town. Especially if either of your parents is an alumnus of this university, this will bring them back to their college days -- because as we all know, they weren't drinking at our age, they were enjoying sporting events and spending hours nestled in the Pattee stacks studying.

Whatever you do with Mom, Dad and your bratty siblings while they're in town, remember to avoid alcohol. I saw far too many embarrassing parental performances this weekend. Make a valiant attempt to show your loving family that their tuition dollars are not going to waste on a four year adventure in binge drinking.

--Mary

I'm a senior. I don't have a job. And I'm terrified of a world that doesn't accept Lion Cash and doesn't have an inbox overflowing with e-mails from my career adviser.
Graduation is right around the corner and even if this May doesn't mean the end of your time in Happy Valley, it will certainly be a reminder that doom is impending.
Many of my recent activities have reminded me that my youth is drawing to a close.
This past Friday I took a trip to the Big Apple for the "Success in the City" career fair with the College of Communications -- and was that ever a slap in the face. I don't like wearing a suit and pretending I know what "media buying" entails. Everyone else looked as discombobulated as I did, waiting nervously to talk to a recruiter holding a portfolio full of resumes.
An hour before we were scheduled to meet the bus, everyone on the trip could be found across the street in the bar, looking disheveled, clutching a glass of wine. Welcome to the life after college, my friends.
I also took note to the other patrons. While many looked like recent college grads who were enjoying a $10 glass of house Chardonnay, I was especially intrigued by the naughty little affair taking place between a 60-year-old sugar daddy and his supple little secretary with lipstick smeared across her teeth. I thought college guys could be shady but this was a flat-out reminder that the creepage doesn't stop when you graduate.
After this little taste of the "real world," I was determined to milk these last few weeks of glorious college debauchery. Although I had my heart set on a frat party, the night after my career search, I ended up in at a random apartment -- which was almost as good. After a rather frustrating phone conversation, we located our "friend of a friend" on a darkened street corner and he led us into an apartment. Upon realizing he did not live there, we wandered around the complex and finally located his lovely abode.
Downstairs, a beer pong table constructed out of a large door and cinder blocks filled the entire room, while the many young men at the party planned their assault on the five girls that were present.
A red solo cup was thrust into my hand and I was shoved up the stairs toward the almost-kicked keg on the balcony. Then I returned to what seemed to be a living room where some kind of heated video game was being played. I plopped down on the damp couch and soaked in the scene.
I was almost oblivious to the gentleman beside me who spilled his beverage in my lap as I reminded myself that this was probably one of the last times I would be enjoying a free beer.
The relief of graduation will bring with it the stress of the real world and I don't know if I'm ready for it. I like my beer luke-warm and served in a plastic cup; I don't think I'm mature enough to have a drink with my boss after work.
For all of you who are as terrified of leaving Happy Valley as I am, I suggest we cherish what's left of our time as college students. Even if you aren't graduating, you've probably completed at least one year of your Penn State tenure, and that in itself is upsetting. Soon we will be thrust into a society where expectations are high and missing work requires a legitimate excuse. But until then, bring on the keg stands and the bar tours -- I have four weeks of irresponsibility left and I plan to make the most of them.

--Mary

There is one weekend each year when witnessing a man make out with his dog, spinning drunkenly around a plastic bat and seeing a barrage of male genitalia is commonplace: Blue-White weekend.

The tradition of Blue-White weekend has been drawing Penn State football fans and avid partiers for decades, and this weekend was certainly no exception.

With temperatures reaching the 80s, it was the perfect day to tailgate, play ladder golf and acquire a nice sunburn.

The celebration kicked off Friday, when most of the crowds rolled into town. My own attempt to eat at Café 210 West, 210 W. College., was impeded by hoards of drunkards enjoying the sunny weather and pitchers of Miller Lite. Anyone who wasn't willing to wait in a line for over an hour could forget about going to a downtown bar on Friday night. Any establishment which offered outdoor seating was a madhouse, as were Alumni hotspots like the Darkhorse Tavern, 128 E. College Ave.

The amount of night-owls on Friday was surprising considering the long day of tailgating ahead for most people. When I reached Beaver Stadium at 10 a.m., there were already a plethora of intoxicated Penn Staters and alumni passed out in the grass beside our tailgate. The smell of grilling could not mask the pungent odor of urine which seemed to seep from the soil next to every truck door. One gentleman, who was repeatedly struck with flying balls from our game of ladder golf, seemed to have slipped into a coma while his large dog licked his face.

By the time 2 o'clock rolled around, it was obvious that trekking the quarter mile to Beaver Stadium was unappealing to most tailgaters. Heated games of beer pong, flip cup and dizzy bat were well under way and no one was going anywhere -- especially not to the port-o-potty, which boasted a line the likes of which I have never seen. Here's a tip for those of you who have not discovered this for yourselves: take your full bladder and solo cup and hike on over to East Halls or the Business Building. The bathrooms are much cleaner and by the time you get back, your friends will still be clutching their crotches and bouncing around erratically in the middle of the line.

And while we're on the subject of tailgating, it is important to always remember your etiquette. A few crucial things to keep in mind for this fall's football season: refrain from sticking your fingers in the pasta salad and running it for the rest of the guests. When throwing footballs, tossing Frisbees or whacking whiffle balls, do so with caution. Finally, if you are a male and must relieve yourself immediately, do so behind a car door. I saw more penises this weekend than a seasoned urologist.

From the tailgating fields it looked as though there was a successful turnout at the actual game. I think the Blue team won, but who really cares? By 5 p.m., small bands of police officers started to pop up out of nowhere and warn those who were peacefully napping face-down by their vehicles that they should begin to pack up. I witnessed one arrest and a few near-misses before the crowds seemed to disband for the most part. The only thing more disturbing than all the drunken injuries and genitalia was how these intoxicated masses drove home from their tailgates.

While the scene downtown on Saturday was unbelievably hectic, it seemed that most people had worn themselves out with cases of Natty and never woke up from their afternoon nap. All in all, this year's Blue and White gave students, alumni and visitors a refreshing opportunity to enjoy beautiful weather, grilling and beer... and maybe a little football.

Although there’s no place quite like Penn State, sometimes you just need to get away.

After a year of partying with the same crowd, studying in the same corner of the library and eating at the same dining commons, even Happy Valley can become a little boring.

It seems that with Christmas break long gone and the glorious summer nearing, this is the time of year when we yearn to see our high school friends. Instead of making the three-hour drive to Pittsburgh or Philly, depending on which metropolis you almost definitely hail from, many people take a weekend to experience a high school pal’s college.

I had one such wonderful opportunity this weekend when I traveled to a half-hour deeper into the boonies to Juniata College in Huntington. It was Pig Roast, the annual beer festival at Raystown, where 70-year-old professors can be found doing keg stands and the rather sheltered population of students shed their inhibitions and drop their pants to relieve themselves of gallons of beer in the woods.

The shock of a school where almost everyone knows each other intimately left me thanking God I go to such a large university. There were countless instances of awkwardness when ex-hookups had to encounter each other at the beer tap. At least we can escape our mistakes by running down College Avenue with our stilettos in hand, never to see the gentleman again — except that inevitable encounter somewhere near the mall … but you can hide behind your sunglasses so it’s all good. These unfortunate souls will be reminded daily of their indiscretions.

We Penn Staters are also fortunate in our opportunity to party any time of day, any day of the week. Rough exam on a Tuesday? Not a problem in State College. Somewhere there’s an apartment full of Beast and a band of your peers who are in the same boat you are.

At schools as small as Juniata, however, you’re pretty much a huge floozy if you can’t limit yourself to partying only on the weekends. This was apparent in the lack of control many Pig Roast attendees displayed. Girls were passionately pinned to beer pong tables, park rangers futilely attempted to quell fights over the insufficient supply of solo cups and boys in spandex undies ran around with slabs of pork. It was like Blue-White Weekend on crack.

While it’s certainly refreshing to get away from the crowds of students on our campus for a few days, it is little visits like this one that remind me why I chose to attend Penn State in the first place. I don’t know what I would do without a good pair of sweatpants and the anonymity of the Forum on the morning after a heavy drinking binge. How my high school friends can show their face in a class of less than 20 in such a situation is beyond me.

I’m grateful for every random frat party I’ve attended, every cup I’ve flipped and every time I’ve slipped into a class 45 minutes late, but still in time to hand in my paper. We may not always be in complete control of our actions or our bodies, but we are Penn State — and that’s the way I like it.

- Mary