Ah, middle school. The days of awkward haircuts, spin-the-bottle and sweaty hand-holding during lunch. Honestly, I miss all that. Corey and Topanga, field trips to the Franklin Institute, the good old days. In college, life is all about GPAs and the future and cramming, which royally sucks.

So, in an effort to stop being stressed and caffeinated out all the time, I'm spearheading a campaign to bring back the middle school days. After observing some of the crazy nightlifing people are doing, I've come to the conclusion that I am not the only one out there who wants to relive some of that middle school awkwardness. Bring on the Tommy jeans and butterfly clips.

Given the arctic temperatures and lack of motivation to be social, the highlight of my Friday night was spent going to Applebee's and enjoying a hearty appetizer of $2.99 chips and salsa. Kinda lame. I know.

But a look around the sparsely-filled restaurant yielded a group of Penn Staters on what looked like a "middle school date." You know, the group of eight or nine kids on a Friday night who went out to Applebee's or Bennigan's or Friendly's -- The Big Three "-'s" bunch, I called them in my heyday. The nightlifers who were on the "-'s" date ordered -- as is dictated by eighth-grade etiquette -- a bunch of appetizers and wayyyy too many caffeinated drinks, all the while trying to awkwardly avoid looking at each other's private parts. I was in middle school heaven.

And then, surprisingly, I saw my fair share of middle grade-esque behavior on the White Loop at 11:30 p.m on a Friday. Let me tell you how surprised I was to see the students who got on at the East Halls bus stop behaving in such a juvenile manner! In between hearty, totally sober cheers of "We are ... Not Drunk!" and "Joe Pa-tern-o" I heard the Loopers chant middle schoolers' favorite word of all time.

Nope, not "sex." Not "seven minutes in heaven." Get ready for it people ... "boobies." One brilliant mind came up with the chant, and I swear this kid is going to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company because of his ingenuity and creativity. "When I say 'Boo' you say '-Bees," he chanted, bobbing his head and winking at some twig-like blonde. "Boo," he started.

"-Bees!" the rest of the bus yelled back.

"Boo!" "Bees!"

Are you thinking of the middle school cafeteria? Because I sure as hell was, rolling my eyes at my boyfriend, willing the bus to just make it to Burrowes Road.

If you're still not convinced the State College nightlife is run by middle schoolers after those two examples, let me relay a story my managing editor told me this morning. I think I can accurately compare it to the one event that personifies middle school for us children of the 90s: the middle school mixer. Hells yeah. While dancing at a bar, being her fly self, my managing editor was approached by some equally as-fly nightlifer, who, after introducing himself to her, began to dance with her (in the most appropriate way, I'm sure).

Well, in the midst of the sweatiness and bumpin' and grindin' I associate with the middle school dance, he used the BEST pick-up line ever in hopes of scoring, one I'm sure every 13-year-old would applaud: "Can I kiss you?"

Surprisingly, it didn't work, as she replied "Peace!" and walked away.

It's all right, buddy. I'm sure not even Shawn Hunter of Boy Meets World fame would have been able to score with that line.