Ten minutes until kickoff and the stadium's still about halfway full, but my right-hand man Corey McLaughlin has done some scouting --- there's still plenty of people tailgating and filing in through the gates, he says.

On a side note, I'm watching the Linc's big screen ... and their mascot's name is Hooter Balboa? I'm speechless. There's a clip right now with Hooter Balboa parodying the Rocky movies. It ends with Hooter running up steps with two cheerleaders, and the cheerleaders rip a Nittany Lions' T-shirt in half.

Man, that was awful ...

We'll update after kickoff now --- throughout the game.

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WHO?

Temple is having no problem finding soft spots in Penn State's defense --- at least on this first drive. The Owls' offensive line is terrible; Penn State tends to blitz --- and Temple coach Al Golden isn't stupid. He's running quick, three-step drop passes. Everything has been short or mid-range for Temple.

Good thing for Penn State that, again, Temple is just plain awful. Jake Brownell missed a 22-yard field goal. Heading into this game, he's hit 57.1 percent of his field goal attempts this season --- and is only 3-for-9 on kicks longer than 29 yards. Ouch.

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It's official. Not only is Penn State on pace to own the Owls; Penn State fans are owning the Linc.

"We are ... Penn State" chants are reverberating throught the stadium. And after Jordan Norwood's touchdown --- on a nice throw by Anthony Morelli --- the "P-S-U, Let's Go PSU" cheer started up. Maybe it's not a complete homefield advantage for Penn State, but it would be foolish to say it was a homefield advantage for Temple.

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First Quarter, 4:36 left

The more I watch this game, the more I think: What's worse? Temple's mascot or Temple's special teams?

Hooter Balboa came out in golden gloves and sweats, parodying a Rocky cliche ... while Temple has already missed a 22-yard FG (the equivalent of an extra point) and just had a 28-yard punt ... which actually ended up netting 23 yards because the punt unit committed a five-yard penalty.

Loser this round: Temple's Special Teams (note: there are no winners)

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END OF FIRST QUARTER

Well, I have to say this is pretty much what I expected. Temple has scored on 0 percent of its drives; Penn State has scored a touchdown on 100 percent of its drives.

That's right, it's 14-0 --- and probably time to jingle those keys.

The first blow-up doll has already made its appearance, as well. On the 45-yard line, the doll was bounced around for about five minutes before it was confiscated. It was close enough to the field that it may have actually made TV.

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SECOND QUARTER, 11:48 LEFT

I'm sorry if I seem a little hard on Temple ... actually, you know what? I'm not sorry. This team is horrible. Absolutely awful. People are already, seriously, filing toward the exits --- maybe they're just going to get food or maybe they're leaving.

But you couldn't blame Temple fans if they did head toward that exit.

On a fake field goal play, Temple found freshman tight end Matt Balasavage wide open in the corner of the end zone .... Balasavage dropped it. He dropped a touchdown.

That's right --- Temple's missed a field goal that was as long as an extra point, and it dropped a touchdown. Man, the Owls aren't even meeting MY expectations.

I'm sorry if I seem bitter. It's just --- I can't take this non-conference schedule anymore. Florida International, Buffalo, Temple? The only time I see these teams is when I check out ESPN's Bottom 10. For the love of God, Tim Curley, please take note: SCHEDULE BETTER TEAMS! Enough automatic wins! Stop it!

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SECOND QUARTER 3:13

Can someone please call the athletic department? State College Area High seems to have made the trip and has somehow managed to wander on the field. Those kids could get hurt out ... oh, wait, that is the Temple football team.

Maybe it's the fact dink-and-dunk Morelli is averaging almost 17 yards a completion, or that Rodney Kinlaw has 70 yards on a dozen carries that confused me.

Or maybe it's because Temple's red zone has become some sort of bizarro-Bates Motel --- once you visit, you have to leave ASAP. The Owls have made their way inside Penn State's 20-yard line on three occasions but still have nothing to show for it.

There's the missed FG, the dropped TD --- and the recent touchdown that was called back because of a holding penalty. After that penalty, the Owls came closer to a score but fumbled the ball. Oh, it's been ugly.

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HALFTIME

Well, Penn State's winning 17-0 at halftime. So, that's good I guess.

What's not good? Penn State's secondary continues to struggle. Vaughn Charlton -- Temple's second-string signal caller --- has thrown for 175 yards and has a 68 percent completion percentage. And he's had quite a few passes dropped. Might be time to unload that Justin King draft stock, too ...

The odd part of this game is that, although Temple appears INCREDIBLY outmatched, one could argue it should be tied --- maybe even winning --- against Penn State. Temple's been on the verge of scoring a touchdown three times, and three times the Owls have come back empty.

Tom Bradley's rubber-band defense might crack soon ... so who knows? Maybe Temple will put some points on the board, after all.

But back to the Temple being outmatched part, though. Maybe this will add some perspective --- when the Lions snap the ball, they're averaging 7.7 yards. That's right, Penn State's average offensive play (run or pass) has gone for almost 8 yards.
They've run 34 offensive plays for 261 yards.

Good grief, Hooter Balboa.

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THIRD QUARTER, 6:32 LEFT

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly in the third quarter:

Good: Derrick Williams just broke the 100-receiving yard barrier for the first time in his career. He's really started coming on these last two games.

Bad: Anthony Morelli threw his obligatory interception of the day. He also fumbled earlier in the game.
Mark Viera just received a text from a Penn State friend in Reading --- it read, "The only thing worse than Morelli's turnovers is hearing TV commentary. Larry Coker is beyond awful." For those of you watching TV, we offer our condolences --- although look on the bright side: It could be Pam Ward.

Ugly: During the "Smooch Cam," two clearly inebriated men were shown. They embraced and pecked at each other after smashing Miller Lite cans together ... um, yeah, the same beer cans that aren't sold in the stadium. Gotta love the college football atmosphere.

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END OF THIRD QUARTER

Make that FOUR missed opportunities for the Owls. Three red zone trips, zero points --- and, most recently, sophomore Temple linebacker Alex Joseph just dropped an interception that could've easily gone for a pick-six.

Instead, the game remains at Penn State, 17-0. Temple had ample chances to make this a REAL game. Instead, it's failed. Miserably.

It's the fourth quarter now --- and in the words of Corey McLaughlin, "Hip-hip-hooray."

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FOURTH QUARTER, 11:40 LEFT

Well, the stats are in --- and Temple recorded a grand total of ... drum roll, please ... -3 (THAT'S NEGATIVE!) yards in the third quarter. That's no easy feat and the Owls should be congratulated; it's the only notable thing they've done all day.

As far as other numbers are concerned, the official attendance was 69,029 people --- the largest crowd in Temple football history and in MAC regular season history. Penn State tailback Rodney Kinlaw also went over 1,000 yards on his touchdown run. Kinlaw has 135 yards so far in this game.

In case you missed it, Kinlaw scampered for a touchdown early in the fourth quarter. Penn State leads, 24-0. Will Penn State cover the spread? Stay tuned!

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END OF GAME
Penn State 31, Temple 0

And Penn State covered the spread! The Lions beat the spread!

Why am I leading off talking about the spread right now? Because unless you had money on this game, there was really no reason to watch after halftime. Overall, the game was poorly played --- I don't think I've ever seen a lesser-impressive shutout.

And Temple's offense? My God, Merriam Webster needs to add a stronger synonym for the word "suck." After all, the Owls have earned it. Four opportunities, no points. Joe Paterno and the Lions tried to hand Temple a gift touchdown ... well, the Owls must've put it on lay-away.

Better luck next week against Kent State, Temple.