New Years Eve expectations versus reality - The Daily Collegian: P.S.

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New Years Eve expectations versus reality

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Posted: Thursday, December 12, 2013 12:00 am

It’s the time of year where everyone pretends that they love the holiday season more than might be actually humanly possible.

Peppermint flavored everything, “Christmas-y” plans with your friends and failed New Year’s plans are just a few of the things you will encounter this year, as you do every year.

But Evan, you say, the holiday season is, as they say, “the most wonderful time of the year!”

Well, I’ll admit, I love this time of year just the same as everyone else. But growing up does something to you that you can’t prepare for as a child: it takes the magic out of the holiday season.

As a kid, these last few weeks of December meant the absolute world to you, and now, as college students, they still mean a lot…a lot of time to sleep after finals kicked you in the butt.

There are a lot of prospects that come with the holiday season, but you’re bound to run into a few disappointments, so I’ve done you a favor and compiled some common expectations with the harsh reality you may face while roasting chestnuts on an open fire (I can’t resist, okay?).

Or as I like to put it, this is the “It’s a Wonderful Life” chart: it sounds pleasant and cheerful until you realize how depressing and wretched it makes you feel. Happy holidays, though!

EXPECTATION

Mmm, I could really go for some Christmas cookies. I bet I already have all the ingredients in my house. I’ll dance around to Christmas music in the kitchen and in just a few short minutes, I’ll have some delicious holiday treats to share with my family.

REALITY

There’s no food left in the house and everyone is still at work in your first few days home from break. You start making cookies until you realize you have no eggs and have to face a snowstorm to drive to your local Wawa/Sheetz. Oh, and you’ll probably burn the bottom of those cookies and set off the fire alarm once, maybe twice.

EXPECTATION

All of your friends want to go ice skating because it’s the perfect time of year to do that sort of thing. Despite your inexperience with skating, you glide out on the ice and become Michelle Kwan, much to the adoration of your friends.

REALITY

You cling for dear freaking life to the side of the wall while five-year-olds zoom past you because this is a cruel and sick world we live in. You definitely fall and, in the process, become the butt of your friends’ jokes.

EXPECTATION

You compile a wish list of gifts you want for Christmas, surprised to see what you want on Dec. 25 sitting underneath your tree.

REALITY

Shopping with your mom a week before Christmas: “You can get me that. That’s fine. Okay, sure. Here, buy this. Great. I’ll try to act surprised.”

EXPECTATION

Snow falling like a white blanket on Christmas morning.

REALITY

Snow pushed to the side of the road that turns black.

EXPECTATION

Your friends make awesome New Year’s Eve plans that will most likely include peppermint schnapps and a dance party when the clock strikes midnight.

REALITY

Mom wasn’t too thrilled with that idea, so it’s New Year’s Eve with your family and you’re as sober as a judge. And no one wants to dance.

EXPECTATION

A spectacular New Year’s Eve kiss with that special someone! Super romantic! The world stops spinning! True love!

REALITY

LOL.

EXPECTATION

Three weeks of no schoolwork? Time to snuggle with a large blanket, a cup of hot chocolate and a binge watch of the first season of “Orange is the New Black.”

REALITY

Your mom will make you do more chores and favors than you thought humanly possible. The argument “But I’m on break!” will be shot down numerous times.

EXPECTATION

You keep telling yourself to not eat too much because spring break will be here before you know it. Besides, your New Year’s resolution is to start dieting, so might as well start early.

REALITY

Yeah, that New Year’s resolution can wait until 2014, do you SEE the dessert table right now?!

EXPECTATION

You’ll come back to school and immediately reunite with all of your friends and Syllabus Week begins.

REALITY

Sleep, probably.

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