This has been the most trying five days of my career. I am scientist and an engineer, so I live in a largely intellectual realm. So this is like nothing I have ever known, but I am far from alone in that.
For the last five days, like most of us who are so deeply invested in Penn State — her students, alumni, faculty and staff — I was going through a process of grieving with all its attendant stages.
For me it has been agonizing since last Friday evening. The news from Harrisburg was a complete shock — I felt utter disbelief. Until this presentment came forth, I had no idea that anything of this kind had ever even allegedly transpired at Penn State. I thought that Jerry Sandusky was supposedly a good man, one who was helping underprivileged kids. The information presented was shocking. After shock other feelings soon emerged as well — disbelief, sadness and anger.
My depth of feeling on the matter I realized stemmed from my being a parent much more than from my being an educator.
Is there anything worse than sexual abuse of children? For most of us nothing is worse. I found it very hard not to dwell on this and on those kids, the alleged victims.
So the allegations tore at me and many of us in the most visceral of ways. We all felt a pain unlike any other that I know. We came to work for years thinking and believing that we are a part of one of the greatest educational institutions in the country, but then we found that in one part of the institution someone had allegedly undermined all that we do and allegedly had done so with children in the most heinous of ways.
This is what was so utterly unbelievable — literally, not figuratively. My shock, was soon mixed with an abiding sadness, a sadness for the kids.
Appropriately, and not unexpectedly, my shock, disbelief and sadness turned to anger. I was so angry because my colleagues in all fields across Penn State work every day to make life better for everyone through education that is by teaching, doing research and by outreach. We don’t just say it, we believe it. So the feelings we have for those children and their families are very, very real and I can assure you that that feeling of anger mixed with sadness will not go away.
Now, I am moving on to acceptance, even though I oscillate a bit among the other stages. I accept that this has happened, I accept that allegedly a great wrong has been done. Out of acceptance, in this case has come for me the lesson of resolve. We must resolve to be vigilant at all times. As administrators, faculty members and as students, we all have a role to play from now on to never let this happen again, not to children, not to any other student, not to a visitor, or anyone else. We must not let anyone who is stronger dominate and abuse someone who is weaker, not here and not ever. We must never ever forget this or ever become complacent.
Hank Foley
Vice President for Research
Dean of The Graduate School
