Many of us can say we’ve heard someone moaning through the paper-thin walls of a dorm or from the seventh floor laundry room of Beaver Hill —again. In a case like this, you’re probably assuming one of three things:
1. Wow, someone is getting a “nice old-fashioned” in there. (Yes, I watch “South Park,” too.)
2. I’ll have what she’s having.
3. This “Soundtrack of Love” is fantastic.
You might be wondering, what’s the Soundtrack of Love? Simply put, it’s the “music” that escapes your body through your vocal cords when you’re doing the dirty.
And let me tell you, there is nothing worse than a bootlegged soundtrack. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’m talking about “faking it.”
I’ll be the first to admit that I was famous freshman year for being the all-around loudest girl in my neck of Happy Valley. (My apologies to second floor Geary Hall.)
Even so, I never quite understood why women — and even men — can be just as loud when they’re not having the best time.
Are we protecting our partners? Do we just want to get it over with because the guy or girl is a dead fish?
Penn State assistant professor of biological anthropology David Puts said the vocalizations a woman makes while having an orgasm can be both voluntary and involuntary.
Naturally, we make uncontrollable (and many times ridiculous) noises and faces during sex, but it’s wrong to force them.
A study by Erin Cooper of Temple University looked at 366 women, ages 18 to 32, to see how many had faked orgasms. The results? A whopping 60 percent.
Cooper’s study found that many women fake it due to a fear of intimacy; they also reported faking the “O-face” because they felt insecure about their performance, or because they wanted to “get it over with.”
In a study published in the Journal of Sex Research, 25 percent of the men surveyed confessed that they, too, have faked it.
The statistic for women
doesn’t surprise me, but I was shocked that men are guilty of this as well. You don’t need to be a member of a CSI team to find the physical evidence left by a guy who’s satisfied.
But there’s a catch.
Puts said while women want to protect their male partners’ egos, faking it could actually do more harm than good. If women put on an act too frequently, he added, men will disregard our moans and will try less to get a woman off.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve faked it before, but after the warning from Puts I won’t be doing it again any time soon.
Intimacy — sexual or otherwise — makes or breaks a relationship. While opening up in the bedroom is difficult to do, it’s necessary. If we can’t communicate in the romping room, we’re probably not doing a good job of it in other places.
The connection made while having sex shouldn’t be smoke and mirrors. We need to talk to our partners and tell them how to cater to our needs. That way we don’t have to fake it. Honestly, if it’s that bad, maybe we should find someone new.
You’ve heard it from your mom thousands of times, but I’m going to reiterate it: Practice makes perfect. It’s up to you and your partner to go by trial and error to figure out what works best for both of you — and to talk about it.
Too often, we try to hide sex next to the vibrator in our underwear drawer or with the dirty magazines under our mattresses, but talking about satisfaction is important. If we can’t communicate with our partners, then who else is there? Ask your partner what you can do to meet them at The Big “O.”
Stop being so shy, you’ve already seen them naked.
Kristina Helfer is a junior majoring in English and Spanish. She is The Daily Collegian’s Thursday columnist for the Collegian’s sex column, Mounting Nittany. Email her at email@example.com.