The Penn State staple “Hey Baby” always finds its way through the speakers that rock Beaver Stadium on football Saturdays.
Everyone sings in unison: “...hey baby (Hoo Ha) I wanna know if you’ll be my girl.”
But then, some spectators in the student section add, “Just for the night.”
I don’t think that Bruce Channel intended for his song to be changed like this, but the Nittany Lions’ remix caught my attention.
The first time I heard it, I was confused. Did my classmates honestly just take this timeless piece of music and turn it into something about getting horizontal for only one night?
In my book, having a one-night stand means having consensual sex with your partner, sleeping over ‘just for the night’ and waking up to leave in the morning without having sex again.
One-night stands have even caught the attention of researchers, who are studying potential biological reasons that make people more willing to have these encounters.
In a Binghamton University study published in 2010, researchers tested 181 college students to find out if a modified dopamine D4 receptor makes people crave involvement in one-night stands and other risky sexual encounters more so than those who do not carry this modification.
These people crave dopamine, and what do you think increases dopamine levels drastically for some?
You guessed it: sex. Hence, this mutation has been deemed “the one-night stand gene.”
Of the participants, about one in four had the modification and were twice as likely to report behaviors like one-night stands.
The study’s results were consistent across men and women of all ages.
But, the research did show that a person’s environment affects whether people act on their genes or control their urges.
While some may think of this as the “perfect excuse,” genes or not, I don’t buy it.
I may have had a few casual relationships, but I don’t have “just for the nights.” Therefore, I can only question the gene’s level of influence.
My “one-night stance” was reinforced when I found a different study comparing how men and women differ in their views on one-night stands.
I feel that there needs to be mutual physical attraction. And the second study showed this isn’t the case for men.
Achim Schützwohl of Brunel University in London and his colleagues surveyed nearly 900 heterosexual students — about half male — from the U.S., Germany and Italy to see whether men or women are more likely to engage in random single-sex-sessions. They also studied which cared more about their partners’ looks.
Students were asked what type, if any, sexual encounter they would partake in with the opposite sex depending on their level of attractiveness.
I wasn’t surprised to find out that men disregarded the level of attractiveness for the average likelihood of them accepting the offer.
Meanwhile, ladies were more likely to partake in a sexual encounter with exceptionally attractive males than the not-so-good-looking ones.
This, according to the study, may have to do with the fact that women deem it more important to pass on good genes to their offspring and, therefore, prefer more attractive men.
I applaud my fellow females for not lowering standards just because someone offered to knock your boots.
Maybe we’d have fewer problems if people had sex with people they actually liked and were attracted to.
Do we really need to be naked in front of someone just once, only to never see him or her again? I’m definitely not shy, but all of that trouble just doesn’t seem worth it for a one-night-only showing.
I’m also strongly against waking up the next morning and having to deal with that awkward moment when you stare into each other’s eyes intently, wondering, “Who in God’s name is this person staring at me?”
So, if you go through with the one-night fling what do you do the morning after?
Do you run away and dye your hair to throw him off the trail? Do you act like the boss’ daughter that sleeps with Mitch from “Old School” after “Mitchapalooza” and act casual? Or do you convince yourself that this relationship will progress?
The morning after can define your one-night stand. Are you taking a “walk of shame” or a “stride of pride?”
I deem the use of the stride of pride acceptable, but only when that walk is taken after you hook up with a partner you knew or were involved with previously.
But if you’re lucky, you won’t have to take the stride of pride and instead will get the ride of pride — when your partner is nice enough to drive you home. This, of course, saves you from having to walk downtown past the Waffle Shoppe line.
So, what happens next?
1. Cry to your friends about the mistake you just made
2. Become a “stage-five clinger” and latch on to your partner like a leech because you have nothing better going on
3. Pull your life back together and go out again
This gene mutation may exist, but I think everyone, affected or not, should take their actions into their own hands.
How about we all raise our standards beyond those of the “Jersey Shore,” and stop hooking up with the person you just met?
Stop waking up the next morning and convincing yourself its OK that you just smushed and will never call your partner again.
Do as you please, but I hope you take my advice and get a second night out of it.
