There’s no greater reminder that you’re single than the sounds of two people smushing 5 feet from your bed.
Sometimes random roommate assignments mean not just one stranger to share your limited space with — but two.
In defense of sexiling — kicking your roommate out so you can engage in sexual activity — at least it forces you to make friends. If I hadn’t needed to seek refuge in my next-door neighbor’s room freshman year, maybe she wouldn’t be the person who sleeps 5 feet from my bed now (and maybe she wouldn’t understand just how much I don’t want ‘Boyfriend’ to become my new roommate).
Sexiling is something everyone deals with in one form or another, whether you are the sexilee or the sexiler, or you’re just forced to listen to your friends complain about their less-than-considerate roommates.
In a world where thousands of hormone-driven young adults are packed into dorm rooms and apartments like sardines in a can, sexiling happens.
“Sometimes the roommate doesn’t take into consideration that they’re living with another person,” said Eugene Bodden (sophomore-kinesiology).
“I understand that they want to spend as much time with their significant one, but you have to take into consideration that someone else is living with you and they have the same rights as you do to that room.”
Aside from occasionally feeling like he had a somewhat messy third roommate, Bodden said his roommate’s girlfriend being around never bothered him, partly because he and his roommate were good about communicating with each other, and partly because Bodden and the girl got along well.
John Connor (junior-kinesiology) said he and his roommate have no problem communicating with each other and giving each other space when it comes to relationships.
“Someone who’s not so mature or hasn’t been in a relationship in a while,” might have more problems dealing with a roommate whose girlfriend or boyfriend is always hanging around, Connor said.
Having two X chromosomes may also make a person more likely to be put off by an omnipresent sex buddy.
According to Alyssa Bloom (sophomore-speech pathology), her freshman roommate’s boyfriend “basically lived with them,” leading her to switch up her living situation this year.
Bloom said the fact that she and the other girl were such good friends made the problem easier to deal with, but not necessarily easier to talk about.
“I tried not to interrupt there,” she said. “I just spoke to our friends about it.”
Guys handle the situation differently, Bodden said.
“Guys would be more upfront. Guys can say what’s on their mind better than the girls can.”
Sometimes attempts at communication just don’t work though, even when they’re in written form.
Just because you sign a housing agreement doesn’t mean sleepovers will actually be limited to two nights a week.
“As the year goes on they don’t really follow that and they have people over,” said Gabriel Mendiola (sophomore-division of undergraduate studies). “Some people just don’t care.”
Though communication is the first line of defense against feeling uncomfortable in your own room, sometimes it’s best for roommates to grin and bear the awkwardness and then go their separate ways. Or at least find a place with more space.
After living apart for a year, Bloom is planning to live with her freshman roommate again next year. But this time each girl will have her own room.
Getting to know your roommate’s companion (assuming they don’t change every weekend) can also make the situation easier.
Sexilees — stay strong. And sexilers — try to be considerate of your roommate. Maybe in the future you and your shnookums will have a place of your own.
But be careful. Your kids might not be as respectful of a rubber band on the door as your college roommate was.
Erin Rowley is a senior majoring in journalism and is a Daily Collegian columnist. Her e-mail is emr5089@psu.edu.
