Depending on which blog you read or which radio show you listened to when you had way too much time on your hands this past year, you would have known the obvious:
That he "couldn't spell Bo if you spotted him the 'B'!"
That the man was a "bald-headed Don Nehlan wannabe."
Or, for all you slow folks, that "he's done nothing but be an embarrassment since Day 1."
Sounds like someone got a new coach.
That's exactly what Michigan got on Dec. 17, 2007, meaning the class act everyone wanted gone after a week one meltdown against an FCS foe was finally taking a backseat to the guy who abandoned an entire state for a lousy two-and-a-half million bucks a year.
Some jerk he must be.
But that jerk is now our jerk, the fans in Ann Arbor said. That jerk will install an offense that will force the conference to catch up, meaning that jerk will be the jerk who resurrects the Big Ten.
Except he went 3-9 in his first campaign, the losingest season for the winningest program in college football.
Except several players transferred upon his arrival, with one player, Justin "Benedict" Boren, citing a lack of "family values" within the program before joining the enemy in Columbus.
And to top it all off, he wasn't even a Michigan Man.
"My first year people wanted to get rid of me," Joe Paterno was saying this week. "I lost five games the first year I coached."
Joe won eight his second year, one less than what Michigan's current coach won his second year at West Virginia, where he went 3-8 in his first year. That was before he finished 60-26 over seven years there, before the Grant Town, W. Va., mayor had two signs taken down that called the town the "Home of WVU Head Football Coach Rich Rodriguez." (Thus overlooking the fact he was born in Chicago.)
Year 2 at Michigan started with tears, some would call them croc tears, over allegations that under-performing players were being overworked.
Then the season started, and the coach's own players, particularly a young quarterback with Joe Cool swagger, got off to a 5-2 start, and now those same cynics have become eerily quiet.
"I think last year we had some fifth-year seniors and fourth-year seniors who aren't here this year," Michigan tackle Mark Ortmann said Tuesday, "that maybe were thinking of more personal gains and not as much focused on the team and maybe the leadership that needed to be displayed in a transition that we were going through."
On Saturday, the Wolverines can extend a streak against Penn State inside the Big House to six and start a new streak within the program at one.
And then, just eight games later, Rodriguez will have turned the question on his critics.
Can they spell "bowl"?
