So here we have the latest head-scratcher solution to abstract problems, offered up by the Penn State brass.

In 1993, Penn State banned kegs at tailgates in hopes that it would help quell binge and underage drinking. Several Collegian articles from the time point out the reason for the ban: to curb underage and excessive drinking.

Oops.

When you leave the stadium after a game, take a look around. Garbage cans and recycling bins overflow all over the place. It sure makes it hard for the individual to clean up a tailgate if the University can't provide adequate means to dispose of waste. (Though, in the time since, fans seem to welcome the large trash and recycling bags distributed about the lots and utilize them correctly.) And if you've noticed, these landfill volcanoes aren't in grass lots. They're along the paved lots. Oh, the paved lots.

Why ban bottles in just the grass lots? Do glass bottles bounce on pavement? Is broken glass on pavement not a cause for concern for passersby and cars leaving the parking lot in the dim light after a game? Why are those folks immune? It should come as no surprise that those tailgating in the paved lots tend to be the folks that donate the most money to the university. It's funny how stuff like that happens.

So this coming season, when the parking lots become seas of Natty Light cans instead of Yuengling bottles and people complain about sharp metal cutting their apparently bare feet, be sure you don't get caught with a jar of salsa or bottle of hot sauce, because there's a lot more that comes in glass bottles than beer. That is, unless you can afford a paved lot spot.

Tom Hoffman

Class of 1998