I don't want to pick up my cap and gown.
I'd rather be attaining a Courtney Love-style garbage bag dress or even a Björk-style swan dress.
I always imagined wearing a cap and gown and standing proudly in front of the Nittany Lion Shrine -- a sharp Penn State graduate with years of knowledge and a full future ahead.
But I don't want to pick up my cap and gown.
It's not an exciting prospect, like searching for the perfect wedding gown. The cap and gown symbolizes embarking on a new path, one that may not include partying on Tuesday nights and celebrating St. Patrick's Day twice a year.
While reminiscing about freshman year, my roommate and I agreed we wouldn't take back any of our mistakes. And I've definitely made more than a few at Penn State and outside the United States.
I don't think college, or life, is worth living if you don't make some fumbles. My "FML" moments are a big part of who I am today. I figure if I got out of so many sticky situations in the past, there's nothing I can't conquer in the future. I think every experience is worth having once; that way, you know what possibilities are out there.
Penn State is the perfect university -- no doubt about it. There's JoePa and the football team, great educational opportunities, a beautiful small-town setting and, of course, the Creamery. There's also $7.49 million for kids with cancer. Not many schools can boast so many incredible characteristics. Though people call it "a drinking town with a football problem," there really is a lot more to life at Penn State than kicking back with a bottle.
At Penn State, you're part of something bigger, but you might have to take some risks to find where you fit in as a piece to the puzzle.
There's one thing that's been the backbone of my college career. It's been part of my life since freshman summer, and it seems completely strange to picture life without it. To some students it's only worthwhile as a distraction during class, something crumpled on the floors of lecture halls at the end of the day. But for me, it's made me stronger and more driven than I ever knew I could be.
When I was little, I hated newspapers.
They made my hands filthy with black ink, and folding them back and holding them up was a hassle I didn't want to deal with.
This was before the Internet was the most prominent news source -- before the pre-teen protocol of typing a "1" to your friend on AOL whenever a parent was in the vicinity of the computer and "11" when the coast was clear.
When I came to Penn State freshman summer, I started loving the ink. I remember being so pumped to read the Collegian every morning on my way to class. It was such a treat for me to see something completely produced by students.
Sitting in a hot basement writing stories and experiencing the passion of fellow newspaper pals, it's clear that relentless dedication and willingness to work with others can lead you extremely far in life. Even those epic 100-page fact checks have made me stronger as I fight for hours to reach the end.
As I aim to enter the working world in a grim economy, I wonder what my fate will be -- and what will happen to the black and white bundle of information I adore so much.
Frank Clemente, a wise and wonderful sociology professor, said "No one ever said 'Oh shit, I followed my dream.' " A room of sniffling students listened as Clemente delivered his renowned "Rules of Life" lecture during the last class of the semester. I will never forget that comment because it is completely true.
If you have the drive and passion for something, it's impossible to give it up. So no matter how many job and internship applications I have to send, I won't be giving up any time soon. There's so much out there, but you have to take the initiative to find what you want. Sometimes the motivation comes from someone else, but most of it must be found within yourself to propel you forward.
So I guess I'll go get my cap and gown.
Beth Kaiserman is a senior majoring in journalism and is a Daily Collegian culinary reporter. Her e-mail address is bak251@psu.edu.
