I would like to apologize to the concession
staff at Beaver Stadium.
One year ago around this time, I may or may not have broken a napkin dispenser.
Now now, there's no need to release the hounds on me. I had a legitimate reason.
Not because I just finished paying four dollars for a stale pretzel, or because I stood in line for a good half an hour only to find out I'm in the only one that doesn't accept LionCash.
No, unfortunately that napkin dispenser was the victim of uncontrollable jubilation.
After I finished watching Penn State embarrass Florida International with a 59-0 trouncing, my friends and I wandered down the ramp, sunburned and all, ready to grab a shower and head off to use the team's first victory as an excuse to drink.
But we didn't make it out of Beaver Stadium.
As we moseyed through the concession area we were suddenly blocked by a cluster of people, heads all tilted up at one of the 19-inch televisions hanging just above the food stands.
There wasn't a need for words.
Appalachian State was leading the University of Michigan -- in a football game -- in the "Big House."
Despite a furious, last-minute Wolverine comeback attempt, a potential game-winning field goal was blocked by the visiting "Davids," and thus "Goliath" was slain.
Game over. Final score: 34-32, Appalachian State.
Naturally the roar of the students smashed in the confines of the stadium was louder than any time during Penn State's game. Girls shrieked. Hell, guys shrieked too.
And before the final score was even up on the TV, I was already jumping up and down. That's when it happened. I got too close to one of the condiment tables, and that's when the accident occurred.
But while the students here in Happy Valley were going crazy, the expressions on the faces of fellow Big Ten students in Ann Arbor resembled those of Penn State's following the last-second loss to Michigan back in 2005 (I know that analogy was harsh, but now you understand the pain that was felt).
And now, 364 days after that momentous upset, Penn State will face a "David" of its own.
But don't get too sure of yourselves, Penn State.
Now I realize Appalachian State is one of the top FCS programs in the country, and finished with a 13-2 record last year, while Coastal Carolina couldn't even manage to end their season over .500. But upsets can happen at any time.
To make things even more unsettling is the fact that Week 1 is one of the most likely times for a lower program to come in, give 100 percent, and maybe pull off the shocker.
After all, looking at the Chanticleers' schedule, their next toughest opponent is an Oct. 4 match against Liberty (count me in for that one).
That means their game against Penn State is their bowl game. It's their "national championship." It's their time to shine on TV.
And while Coastal Carolina is getting ready to at least contend with the Lions today, Penn State is still working out some major kinks.
Players who have proven very little, or haven't proven anything at al,l will be asked to step up.
And for those freshmen on the team expected to make an immediate impact, the chances they're just as nervous as the Coastal Carolina freshmen are better than you'd expect.
So, will Coastal Carolina march into Beaver Stadium and pull off one of the biggest upsets in college football history? Um, no.
In fact, they won't even be close. But I guess maybe I should've thought twice before I wrote this.
Because just a year ago, fans in Ann Arbor were already looking to keep their undefeated campaign alive against Oregon.
And I'll bet in their frustration at least one of them broke a napkin dispenser or two.
