What did we learn from Michigan's loss at the hands of lowly Appalachian State last season?

Obviously, some teams that compete in college Football's Championship Subdivision aren't that lowly.

And, it -- the most improbable of upsets -- could happen.

But what if it happened here? What if the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers made the 11-hour trip to Happy Valley and pulled off the upset?

It would go something like this:

Bleachers would be ripped from the student section in Beaver Stadium after Coastal Carolina kicker Justin Durham converted a 59-yard field goal.

An all-out riot might ensue, but not a jubilant one where students rush the field and are Maced. This time, the hordes of students would be carrying their own Mace.

The Chanticleer mascot, a rooster, would swipe a tuba from a Blue Band member and stuff the Nittany Lion inside of it.

Some bars afterward would be forced to close. Some would run out of booze.

At the ones that remained open, Nittany Lion fans wearing Pat Devlin and Paul Cianciolo jerseys would stage a duel. The last man standing, depending on the number jersey he was wearing, would declare that quarterback the starter against Oregon State.

But, Daryll Clark would still be the starter against Oregon State.

Paternoville would relocate. Its residents would have to, due to the shame incurred losing to the Chanticleers. Perhaps outside of the Bryce Jordan Center?

Students would go to class Monday. It's all they'd have to do. They would need to be around other Penn State fans.

They would sit there on Labor Day, professor-less, in despair, white paint still crusted on their faces.

A few girls who washed the paint off would have tan lines that spelled out PSU.

Joe Paterno would say he's still having fun, that it didn't matter that the Lions lost to the Chanticleers. It was a non-conference game, anyway. Paterno would announce that Clark would still be the starter.

Drunk kids would egg the Paterno house.

Coastal Carolina Chanticleers T-shirt sales would skyrocket, allowing the school to build a new stadium that could seat 110,000. It would be called "The House that Durham Built."

All right. Enough. This isn't going to happen.

Evan Royster said yesterday on a conference call that the team prepares differently for a school like Coastal Carolina than it does a Big Ten foe. Royster said the team has focused on the Chanticleers' playmakers. Who are those?

A linebacker. D.J. Rice. Watch for him, he'll be wearing No. 55. The other is a safety, Dominique Davenport, No. 36. Rice and Davenport are the top two returning tacklers for the Chanticleers. Rice also added one interception last year. Royster said Davenport "hits pretty hard."

He'll have to do a lot more than that on Saturday if he wants to contribute to another miraculous upset.