I'm jealous of Joe Paterno. There are many reasons to envy the man -- he's relative royalty around these parts -- but it's not the 372 wins, the record number of bowl appearances or the national fame that I desire.

By next May, I'll be finished my college career and forced to face the real world, an idea that scares the hell out of me and many of my fellow seniors, I'm sure. I'd love to hold a press conference tomorrow to announce that I'll be hanging around for at least another three or four more years, as long as college is still fun for me.

But I can't. And that's why I want to be JoePa.

There's a real world on Paterno's horizon, too -- a world most older people would have been forced to embrace many years ago -- but he wants no part of it.

Whatever it is that retirement brings, it doesn't appeal to Joe. He doesn't want to spend his days fishing or golfing, so he chooses not to.

Recently, though, the idea of everyone's favorite octogenarian sticking around past this season has elicited a slew of groans from the masses.

Why won't he just call it quits? Will they force him to leave?

The question people should really ask themselves is: Wouldn't I do the same thing?

From a strictly football standpoint, a legitimate argument can be made that Paterno is hurting the program by continuing to hang on. Maybe recruits don't want to walk into an unresolved coaching situation. Maybe Paterno is too set in his ways and is slow to adapt more modern schemes.

However, by taking such a broad look at the situation, people miss the human side of it all. If a guy loves doing something and feels he can still do it, why stop?

I'm not saying that I want Paterno to coach Penn State football forever. In fact, it would probably be best to put a succession plan in place as soon as possible. But if I were him and had the ability to stick around indefinitely, I absolutely would, and you probably would too.

Paterno's not the only sports figure with an aversion to "the r word." This summer, America watched as Brett Favre came back to the NFL after realizing that riding around on tractors all day is only fun for so long.

Michael Jordan couldn't make up his mind about when to call it quits, and he just kept coming back when he felt like it. Some people welcomed these returns, others criticized the decisions, but everyone wished they had the power to do the same thing.

These men are much different from you or I. Aside from being famous and good at stuff -- two qualities I am sorely lacking -- they all had fun doing their jobs and couldn't stay away.

As of now, the idea of working full-time and leaving Happy Valley is a scary one for me. If I could stay for a while longer, I would, even if it resulted in my parents putting a hit out on my life. Unfortunately, I'm not a national icon, so this year will be my swan song.

Maybe it will be Joe Paterno's, too. But if it's not, don't blame him. It's human nature.