Penn State is in the midst of a new civil rights movement.
No, it's not for the right to an education. It's not for the right to marry.
It's for the right to streak.
The controversy centers on the annual Mifflin Streak, which occurs at the beginning of spring finals week.
Each year, brave students run naked down Mifflin Road, then haul (bare) ass out of the area to avoid the waiting cops who try to catch them.
Of course, every year some of the students aren't quick enough to escape. Once they're identified -- no easy task, given they obviously don't have their wallets -- they usually are charged with open lewdness and disorderly conduct.
In the past, these rebels against clothes-wearing conventions simply pleaded guilty to lesser charges or entered the Accelerated Rehabilitative Disposition (ARD) program for first-time offenders.
But not this year. Elizabeth Burke decided she just wasn't going to take it anymore and challenged her charges in court. Earlier this month, Centre County Judge Bradley P. Lunsford saw what he thought was the naked truth of her argument and dismissed the charges.
Burke's lawyer, Stacy Parks Miller, argued that for the open lewdness charge to be applicable, somebody had to be offended or alarmed. Shockingly, the prosecution was unable to find someone in the area (i.e. a college student) who was angry about seeing a naked girl.
Furthermore, the argument goes, since the Mifflin Streak has been going on for years, everyone knows to expect naked people there, just like everyone knows there are going to be naked people in a strip club. If you're going to be offended, just don't go there.
If the decision stands, State College apparently now has one place and time where it's legal to be naked in public: the night of the Mifflin Streak on Mifflin Road.
But here's the problem: what's to stop the times and places streaking is allowed from growing?
For instance, I live in Simmons Hall, right next to Mifflin Road, and I think I'd enjoy a naked walk every once in a while.
Maybe we should start a second Mifflin Streak in the fall. Or heck, let's do it every night. Notice to grandmas and small children: Stay away from south-east campus after dark.
Or maybe we should just expand the area the Mifflin Streak encompasses. I mean, if you live on the Atherton Street and you want to show off your birthday suit, why should you have to walk all the way to Mifflin Road to do it?
With a little initiative, we could claim all of the Penn State campus as a naked-friendly zone.
I think everyone would agree that this crosses the line at some point. Being completely free from tan lines would be nice, but it wouldn't exactly make our campus the most family-friendly environment. Plus, you'd have the same problem as your average nude beach: For every nice-looking naked person, there's about 10 people you definitely did not want to know that well.
As a community, we choose not to allow "lewd" acts in public.
Most people, I think, would agree that includes public nudity. If judges start to think that's not the case, maybe we need to make the law more specific. Either way, I'm not going to support this civil rights movement. Because one person's right to streak is overruled by something else: everyone else's right not to see that.
Ryan E. Pfister is a senior majoring in information sciences and technology and economics and is the Daily Collegian's Monday columnist. His e-mail address is ryan@psu.edu.
