As I was walking down the mall toward College Avenue this morning, I noticed that the campus chalkers were back in action. Just outside the entrance to Willard, I read "WWJD? Support the DSP!" written right about where the Willard Preacher does his thing. A few steps later, I saw "DSP" written in the same ugly shade of orange.

I won't pretend to be an expert in rhetoric or formal arguments, so I will ignore the fallacies (non sequitur and appeal to false authority, if you're curious) inherent in a "WWJD" argument. Besides, wasn't the whole "WWJD" bracelet thing like 10 years ago anyway?

I'll also ignore the fact that the sidewalk chalkers didn't target a specific audience. I'd rather focus on the most glaring problem: Nobody bothered to explain what DSP stands for.

I'm not even sure that those were the exact letters, but I'm certainly not going to drop everything to run home and Google it. I will, however, assume it stands for "Duck Squishing Program" since I'm pretty sure the Collegian won't print my original idea. Use your imagination.

To the phantom chalkers: Next time, spend the extra 57 cents and buy enough chalk to spell out the whole acronym. Until then, I'll just assume you and Jesus are just a bunch of duck-hating heathens.

Jim DeLancey

senior-computer science