Let's face it. there hasn't been much to grin about in Happy Valley lately. Football isn't on a roll, baseball is making Philly fans want to throw things, and this is the time of year when assignments and exams are dropping on our heads like anvils on Wile E. Coyote.
It's easy, in the middle of the semester, piled in work, to succumb to despair.
However, I've cleverly devised a different way of telling us all to keep our chins up. As corny as it sounds, how about a little game of "it could be worse," pitting our local troubles against headlines around the world?
Let's start out with the issue plaguing everyone in possession of sweat glands -- the weather.
Unseasonable warmth has gotten out of control, forcing students and faculty alike to wear their tired summer wardrobes well into October. Yes, October, the month during which it snowed in 2005.
No wonder, we're in a pigskin funk; the Lions must still think it's June.
What is my answer to all this? You guessed it -- it could be worse. Typhoons have been beleaguering the Taiwanese and Chinese coasts recently, causing untold damage. At least four are reported dead, thousands are without power and millions are being evacuated to higher ground. It isn't easy to whine about the heat when you could be abandoning the only home you ever knew to wait out a storm that might destroy your future.
With the increase in student activism of late, including demonstrations to protest the violence in Myanmar, treatment of the Jena Six and Penn State's continued use of sweatshops, it seems we have a lot to be mad about.
On the other hand, if you think our administration has a few things to work on, imagine being a student at Tehran University. Any of us that may or may not have rushed the field at Beaver Stadium know the intimate joys of clashing with riot police. Mace in the face? Bad.
Getting hauled off and tortured for your liberal views when a hard-line cleric takes over your school?
Worse.
That alleged incident happened around a year ago, but its architect, President Mahmoud Armedinijad, returned to the school Monday, meeting with a select few supporters as protesting students repeatedly scuffled with police. "Death to the dictator" and "Free jailed students," The New York Times said they shouted, but to no avail. Horray for our own activists, but take note: It could be worse.
Lastly, the sexual assaults, crime and other scandalous incidents that have plagued our campus and borough are enough to make any self-respecting resident concerned. There's just been a rape reported in the Nittany Apartments area, bar and street fights are ending with people at the hospital, and football players are being cited for everything from brawling to underage drinking.
However, if we think our image is being tarnished, it's nothing compared to the University of Memphis or Oral Roberts University. In Memphis, four men, including one university student, have been charged in a high-profile murder of a football player. Police say robbery was the motive and that the player was specifically targeted. Talk about a public relations nightmare.
Speaking of nightmares, it doesn't get much more unpleasant than your university's president being accused of unprecedented corruption and abuses of power.
A Tulsa-based Christian university is reeling from allegations that founder Oral (yes, Oral) Roberts paid for lavish amenities like a red Mercedes and a private jet at the expense of the university. His wife is also accused of spending thousands of donated dollars on designer clothes and sending text messages to underage boys. Perfect for a televangelist couple.
Sure, we've had our high-profile murders and vehicular homicides in State College, but none of them made CNN's top stories like these other two universities' recent blows.
So worry not, citizens of Happy Valley. All you need to do to cheer up is scan the headlines and be glad we live in this microcosm of reality, where a little extra heat is sometimes our biggest concern.
Leslie Small is a junior majoring in journalism and political science and is the copy chief for The Daily Collegian. Her e-mail is lcs5020@psu.edu.
