I figure I've got about six months before anyone important looks at my Facebook profile.
Not that my legion of fans are unimportant, but they both probably won't affect my adult life that much. And I don't even think my mom knows how to log onto the site.

So, until an influential figure goes perusing through my profile, combing my wall for scandalous key words and scouring my photos with a paternal eye, the inebriated air-guitar pictures stay. I can do that for one simple reason. I don't matter.

Unfortunately, the same doesn't go everyone else. Some of you matter to someone important, most notably, athletes, club and organization leaders, and student government. Sorry guys, but through your own ambitious decisions and achievements, you've elevated yourself into the cyber spotlight, and that spotlight is only getting hotter, brighter and wider.

That spotlight hasn't really been an issue until recently, when some pretty surprising sources have thrust it into the public eye. Believe it or not, BadJocks.com, described as "Cops meets SportsCenter," is a Web site devoted entirely to exposing the ill-advised, after-hours indiscretions of athletes, particularly collegiate ones.

BadJocks.com was responsible for exposing the unmentionable hazing practices of the Northwestern women's soccer team last year. Employees there spend their time navigating Myspace, Facebook, Webshots and any personal Web pages of collegiate athletes, and looking for anything to red flag. We don't make their jobs very difficult when we name our photo albums "Tri-Lamb Drunkathon '06," "LAX Initiation/Drunkathon" and "Hazing 101: How to throw a Drunkathon."

Those Northwestern girls didn't make it too hard to catch them. Neither did the 19-year-old Iowa Hawkeye football players who thought they looked sweet holding a ton of cash, credit cards and empty Grey Goose bottles in Facebook pics.

Given how easy it is for someone to access personal Web pages these days, anyone with any sort of high profile needs to be wary of what they put on their own page. So, let's talk purging, what can stay, and what's got to disappear faster than the thin half of Keenan and Kel.
Bottom line: Pictures will destroy you. So get rid of anything on this list or resembling it.

1. Alcohol. You're not 21, and last weekend's photo album has a great candid of you, feet in the air, with your face wrapped around the top of a keg. Good luck convincing coach it's the non-alcoholic O'Doule's. If you are 21, a few pics from the bar are fine, but be reasonable. Five-beer bong? Not necessary. The same goes for any other substance you wouldn't brag about to a cop.

2. Hazing. You know it happens. I know it happens. Clubs, sports, frats, sororities, everywhere. You know it's not allowed. I know it's not allowed. So why would you ever take pictures of it? If you do it, turn the cameras off. If it's been done, lose the pics.

3. Stripping/Sex. Yeah, you're hot. We get it. So is that picture of you with your hand on that girl/dude's (insert inappropriate body part). Problem is, you'd never see it on the 700 Club, so lose it.

It's pretty simple. If you wouldn't want it framed on top of Grandma's VCR, you don't want it online. Detag and delete immediately. Granted, there's more about online profiles that can cause waves of worry. Until they come out with a Hallmark card application, in which case you can probably be sure everything's G-rated, keep the wall posts clean.

"Hey man! I feel like I haven't seen your stupid face in forever, what gives yo? We need to hook that up ASAP, so call me fool." That's lame, but acceptable.
"Dude, you were so obliterated last night!!! (insert inappropriate sexual innuendo here) Awesome bro!!!" Not so much.

I'll assume now that most of you are smart enough to avoid career-ruining photos, quotes and Video Music Awards-opening comeback attempts. You probably know better, but I thought I'd be on the safe side.

Don't get hosed and cost yourself that position in the public eye.

Because honestly, once you leave it, returning is no picnic. Ask Kel. It's not as sweet as orange soda.

Ryan Smith is a senior majoring in journalism and is a Collegian columnist. His email is rss5007@psu.edu.