I have a bone to pick with something that has been bothering me for a long time. Its inconsistency bothers me, its lack of consideration for my plans infuriates me, and its general unpredictability drives me to the edge of reason. I'm talking, of course, about the weather, specifically here in State College.

Last week, we were treated to a day where the bank thermometers read 85 degrees for the better part of the afternoon. It was sunny, borderline hot out, and just a really nice day to have in late March. I didn't have class that day, so I thought I'd go to the car wash to vacuum out my very filthy car.

The weather had other plans. Literally 10 seconds after I pulled into the car wash, rain started to fall at a biblical rate. I should mention at this point that the air conditioning in my car does not work. I sat in my car sweltering for roughly 15 minutes, all the while completely convinced that the rainstorm was affecting an area maybe 2 square miles in size, tops.

When I got home, I decided enough was enough. I made a little pact with myself that no matter what happened the rest of the year, I was wearing shorts to class every day, weather be damned. The next morning, I put on a pair of shorts, grabbed my books, and strolled triumphantly outside -- into a bitter wind and 35-degree temperatures. Not ready to admit defeat on the first day of my protest, I executed a spinning heel turn that would have made a seasoned military man smile and went inside to put on a sweatshirt.

Naturally, by the time I exited my first class, it was again warm enough to walk around with shorts and a T-shirt on, so I was forced to carry around my sweatshirt all day, only to have it start raining by the time I was walking home for the day. Shaken but unbowed, I told myself that it was imperative to keep going. The next few days brought changes in the weather so drastic and annoying that I wanted to cry.

I'm not an idiot (contrary to what many of you may think), and I know that the weather changes. The thing I can't figure out is why it has to change every 15 minutes here. What is so special about State College that it can be so nice one minute and so awful the next? If I had a nickel for every time my mother called me from Pittsburgh to ask me if the weather was as nice here as it was there, only to hear from me that it was raining and miserable, I would be a millionaire.

Penn State is a great school with more things going for it than I'd ever care to count. Yet, I can't imagine a school with a worse location or worse weather. It's as if some higher power decided that Penn State students had it too well here and decided that the weather would be awful or at least unpredictable every day.

This has been going on all four of my years here too; this isn't some isolated series of incidents that just happened to set me off. It's more like the culmination of years of anger and frustration over ruined plans and soaked clothing. I've never seen so many thunderstorms with blue skies on all sides than I have up here. Sometimes, when the rain or snow is falling after a day of temperatures in the 70s with sunshine, I think I can hear God's quiet snickers of laughter. When I spend 30 minutes trying to get my car out of the driveway only to have all the snow be gone the next day, it turns to outright belly laughter.

The more I think about it, the more I give up.

Trying to recall all of the weather incidents that have plagued my existence up here is giving me a headache. As I write this, I'm preparing to drive a few hours away for the night. If the weather or whomever controls it has a consistent sense of humor, I'll be back next week all prepared to tell of the freak ice storm that caused me to go off the road.

State College, I give up, you win. Just let me get my degree and get out of here, preferably on a rainy day, so I have something accurate to remember you by.