Breaking up is hard to do, but Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) attempted to ease that pain by presenting ways to help students survive difficult relationship breakups.

The presentation, given by psychologist Joyce Illfelder-Kaye and graduate assistant Shenay Bridges, explained the four stages of the mourning and recovery process and strategies to cope with a difficult breakup.

The first stage, which can last anywhere from a few hours to a week, is a state of shock, Bridges said. This stage is characterized by slow, disorganized thinking, feelings of numbness and a lack of activity, according to a CAPS fact sheet.

"You might be kind of passive in relationships, you're not really paying attention to your relationships with others," Bridges said.

The second stage, protest, can last from a week to three months. During this stage, "you're becoming preoccupied with this person," Bridges said. Mood swings, possible changes in appetite or weight and social dependence can occur during this stage.

"You might be a lot more dependent upon others than you once were," Bridges said.

Disorganization, the third stage, can last from three to six months.

"During this stage, you're just wandering around. The things that you used to enjoy, you no longer do," Bridges said.

People in this stage might withdraw from others, experience sadness or depression and suffer lowered self-esteem.

"You may start to feel your life might be meaningless now that you're not together," Bridges said.

The final stage of the mourning and recovery process, reorganization, occurs anywhere from six months to two years after a breakup. During this stage, more realistic memories emerge about the relationship, and a person may find new or renewed social relationships and interests.

"You're kind of getting back to your old self with your friends, maybe meeting new people," Bridges said.

During the second half of the presentation, Illfelder-Kaye explained coping strategies for dealing with feelings of loss or grief following a breakup.

"When we talk to students, they want to get over it quickly. But you really need to find ways of coping [with a breakup]," she said.

Illfelder-Kaye said the first priority should be to give yourself space and time to deal with the loss.

"Reduce other pressures on yourself. Ask yourself: Are there some ways to reduce the pressures you're under, such as dropping a course or reevaluating the number of hours you're working?" she said.

Keeping a journal may also help, Illfelder-Kaye said.

"Write what was good about the relationship, what was bad about the relationship, questions you might want to ask your ex. Don't just bottle up your feelings all the time," she said.

Keeping mementos such as pictures of you and your partner in plain sight or in your room, however, is generally not helpful, Illfelder-Kaye said.

"I recommend against burning them, but put them in a box somewhere out of sight," she said.

Laura Salvatore (freshman-elementary education) attended the program for her BBH119 class.

"I thought it was really, really helpful, because everyone goes through [relationship breakup] at some point, so it's useful so you can move on faster," she said.