INDIANAPOLIS -- Rene Portland's 11-year-old daughter, Delisa, has a 54-year-old pen pal named Theresa Grentz. Theresa lives in the Midwest and writes sometimes. She even sends gifts, such as a stuffed dog.

This is one side of Theresa. In her other life as the University of Illinois women's basketball coach, Theresa is a rival of Portland's Lady Lions. At least once a year that rivalry is renewed. Tonight Illinois and Penn State will meet for the second time this season, and Portland assured it's business. But the other 363 days, the Portland and Grentz families are so close that they'll even vacation together.

"We're friends," Portland said. "I know everybody tries to pin us against each other, and we're ugly when we're against each other because we're competitors."

Last summer, a collection of coaches traveled out to Hawaii on a trip sponsored by Nike. Portland, Grentz and their husbands went out about a week early to enjoy a little more time together.

Portland booked what she thought was a calm kayaking trip for the party. That's how the brochure depicted it, she said. It was falsely advertised. Apparently the water was so choppy "we almost killed each other," Portland said. The group sloshed their way to a little alcove, which was supposed to be placid. Like the rest of the trip, it proved treacherous.

"There was nothing nice," Portland said. "It was rough; it was hard."

Grentz and her husband, stranded in the turbulent water, had to be towed to shore.

"We thought we were a lot younger than we were," said Portland, who added that she went cliff jumping on the trip. "That will be one of our memories, our kayaking trip."

Portland and Grentz have a wealth of memories. Some happy, some sad, some surreal.

During one prior Big Ten Tournament, back when it was held in the RCA Dome in Indianapolis, Portland recalled looking across the floor and seeing the husbands sitting together. Without qualm, they sat, chatting at center court, while their wives strategize against one another in a high-pressure game.

Years earlier, before they stepped to the sidelines, Portland and Grentz were working together on the same side of the court. They went 85-5 and won three national championships as teammates at Immaculata (Pa.) College in the mid-1970s.

"As long as she and I are in the game, Immaculata will have its place in history because we keep that school in the limelight," Portland said. "The chemistry of our group is still very close, very close. We have teammates probably hate [tonight] just because we play each other."

Since their playing days at Immaculata, Portland and Grentz have chased each other around the coaching world. Portland was hired at Saint Joseph's University after Grentz left to coach Rutgers in 1976.

After joining Penn State, Portland declined the Illinois job but recommended only two people -- Theresa Grentz was one of them. Grentz, who could not be reached by phone, has been at Illinois for the past 12 seasons. Grentz currently leads Portland, 29-26, in their head-to-head meetings.

Numbers mean nothing when they get together off the court. Sure, they'll talk basketball in broad strokes -- general elements of the sport and the direction the women's game is taking -- but they avoid the details. There's no need to delve into the nuances of the game.

But if Portland needs it, Grentz will be there. When the Lady Lions went to the Final Four in 2000, Portland said Grentz was her biggest fan. When Portland's mother died, Grentz was "one of the first people by my side," Portland said. When Grentz got married, Portland was at the wedding.

"She knows that I'll always be there for her," Portland said. "But we both love what we do. She wants to beat me. I want to beat her."