I was using the urinals on the upper floor of the HUB-Robeson Center today when I was reminded of something.

I was reminded by the plastic device that holds the urinal cake that in my hands I had the power to stop rape.

That is what the plastic urinal cake holder had printed on it.

At first I was a little upset believing that the urinal cake holder was implying I was a rapist or that only men were rapists.

Then I realized what it was really saying. It was informing me that my penis was so powerful that it could all by itself stop rape -- not just some rape but all rape could be stopped if my magic wand just willed it so.

So tonight I go to sleep soundly for I know when I awake tomorrow no one will have been raped and from now on no person of any sex or gender will ever be raped again by anyone because I have willed my penis to stop all rape.