There's always an unsettling feeling in the stomach when it's revealed that a band is going to reunite. The year 2007 should be sponsored by Pepto-Bismol.But perhaps the most unsettling of all this reunion news was the prospect of The Stooges getting back together.

The proto-punk pioneers, fronted by rock and roll's creepy old man, Iggy Pop, added Minutemen bassist Mike Watt to the lineup and decided to hit the studio again for its new album, The Weirdness. It's been 30 years since The Stooges has been relevant, having its card trumped by the over-the-top fury of the Sex Pistols. I guess the royalties from Royal Caribbean Cruises' ridiculous pimping of "Lust For Life" are running low.

The album, unsurprisingly, is a colossal failure. Within the opening 30 seconds of the first song, "Trollin'," Pop is spouting hilariously embarrassing lines.

Pop's lyrical abilities were never his strongest suit, but any chops he ever had walked out the door a long time ago. He's also lost the unique vocal delivery that made him worth listening to, and the band's no longer got the visceral energy it once had.

Having John Cale and Lou Reed as friends/producers for its early days certainly didn't hurt the band, either. For The Weirdness, The Stooges enlisted the help of Steve Albini, who hasn't produced a worthwhile rock album in at least five years.

In an ill-advised attempt to sound "raw," the band instead sounds sloppy. The guitars sound like they were recorded in Albini's garage in a couple hours. Thanks to this utter lack of professionalism, Pop's aged voice has nothing to hide behind.

The lead single from the album, "My Idea of Fun," tries to go throwback with its up-tempo beat, but by the end of the song, Iggy Pop begins repeating "My idea of fun is killing everyone" ad nauseam.

His voice strains to reach notes he had no problem reaching back in the day. You can't hold age against a rock star, but the fact that Pop even tries forcing the issue with such bad material is reprehensible.

This band is called The Stooges, but it is not the band that recorded "I Wanna Be Your Dog." The Weirdness is so contrived that it calls into question whether The Stooges had any talent in the first place. Grade: F

-- Reviewed by Kevin A. Doran