Fall Out Boy is not a rock band. Rock music should have an edge, no matter how slight. In their new album Infinity on High, Fall Out Boy's guitars are so soft and processed that their albums should be used as baby bumpers in houses with newborns. The guitar tone on lead single "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race" sounds wimpier than when the Backstreet Boys tried to rock on "Larger Than Life."
"The Take Over, The Break's Over" sports a cheesy guitar solo that sounds lifted from a Goin' South compilation CD commercial. Two tracks later, they attempt to branch out by adding handclaps and a stiff "groove" (in the loosest sense) where they sound more like an '80s pop band trying to go dancey for a crossover single.
On an album where the hard is that soft, the ballads get especially cringe-worthy. On "Golden," the chorus goes "I saw God cry in the reflections of my enemies/And all the lovers with no time for me/And all the mother raise their babies/To stay away from me." That's probably meant to evoke sympathy, but when you hear the piano recital-plunking and overbearing vocal melody, you'll start to think that those moms are doing what's best for their kids.
Lyrical standards have declined, too. It used to be that the teenage outcasts turned to a guy like Elvis Costello for witty wordplay about criticizing society. But emo has surpassed punk and new wave.
A band like Fall Out Boy has legions of kids who think naming songs "Grand Theft Autumn" or "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" is clever. (If that last one was confusing, by the way, here's a hint: th sng scks. I hope Fall Out Boy fans are able to decode that one.)
Fall Out Boy isn't even a good pop band.
What's wrong here? It's the embarrassing choir vocals on "Hum Hallelujah," which envisions a world where palm-muting is used in church. It's the restless changes in "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs," which goes from Panic! at the Disco strings to pop-punk bombast to psuedo-Flamenco guitar, and yet still manages to sound like generic Fall Out Boy.
This is not quality music. It's not "catchy" or "clever" or "all in good fun." It's repetitive, unimaginative and obnoxious. It's an off-key singer warbling over generic, glossy emo riffs and a songwriter patting himself on the back for his puns.
Fall Out Boy is the sound of a million music fans responding to a drought of creative music by latching onto the absolute worst option.
If it's not too late to rename their lead single, may I suggest: "This ain't an album, it's a hate crime."
Grade: F
