Without getting too cutesy, I'd like to use this forum to impart some wisdom on all of the seniors graduating one week from today.
Future CEO's, entrepreneurs, journalists, engineers and other successful professionals alike, heed these words: You can learn a lot from the NBA.
Before you fold up this page and move on to something that doesn't sound patently ridiculous, hear me out.
If you've been paying attention to recent NBA news, you know that, due to player outcry of biblical proportions, the league is scrapping its new high-tech micro-fiber ball and returning to its tried and true leather standby.
Why is this important? Simply put, it proves that if you complain enough about anything, you'll eventually get your way. It seems that most toddlers are ahead of the learning curve on this one.
Don't be discouraged by the fact that the players are multimillionaires with their own union, you too can complain your way right to prosperity even as a recent college graduate. Sure, you've been taught that hard work, discipline, networking, being prepared, having a pleasant smell about you and practicing good oral hygiene are all keys to success, but really you can neglect all of those elements and still get by with whining.
If an iron-fisted sports commissioner like David Stern can be bossed around by a bunch of overpaid whiners, what is there to say that your boss, who probably didn't graduate from Penn State and therefore isn't going anywhere in life, won't be 20 times easier to intimidate?
And don't think that simply whining is the end of it. No, there's plenty more to do to ensure your success in the real world. Steve Nash, the two-time defending NBA Most Valuable Player and a leading critic of the new ball, turned the tough trick of being angry no matter what decision was made. First, he and many other prominent players complained that the new balls were giving them cuts on their hands.
But, my friends, while others stopped complaining, Nash took it to another level. He decided to complain about the switch back to a new ball, using the logic that, while he hated the new ball, he'd gotten used to it.
People, if this isn't the guy to emulate as you hit the streets in the real world, I don't know who is. If you follow the blueprint the way Nash has, not only will you mope and pout your way to a raise, you'll be able to get right back to complaining as soon as you receive it. After all, it would be difficult to get used to having more money after you'd gotten used to being poor.
I'm not trying to trivialize all the work you've all put in over the past four years of your lives. You've all earned the right to whine and moan and complain until things go your way. Your parents might be fond of telling you that life is hard and you've got to fight for everything you get, but remember, these are the same people who lied to you repeatedly during your formative years, filling your head with tales of an Easter bunny, a Tooth Fairy and a Santa Claus. Can they be trusted? I think not.
In closing, and with some degree of seriousness, I'd like to revisit one of my favorite posters from my grade school halls. It simply said "Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten," and it couldn't be more accurate.
I won't be graduating until May, but I'm a firm believer that if you play well with others, talk when you're supposed to, listen when you're not talking and be nice to everyone, just like you were taught in kindergarten, you can't really go wrong in any walk of life.
But, in the event that none of that works, and you find yourself struggling out there, just go back even further. If the chips are down, return to your time as an infant and do one thing when you don't get your way: whine like it's your job. If you're really good at it, it may well become your profession.
Just like Steve Nash.
