Disclaimer: for those of you who have already suffered through a tedious, traumatic or terrible break, I apologize for not releasing this column sooner.

My hope is that it will get to you in time for Christmas.

Every time semester breaks roll around, a vast majority of students pack up their cars, get on their buses or catch their flights to be home for the holidays.

Upon entering your parents' house, the experience is chock-full of hugs, kisses, dog-petting or fridge-raiding.

You are looking forward to four or five classless days to lounge, eat, sleep and, in general, achieve your dreams of doing nothing.

But soon, reality sets in.

First, your mother will distract you with tempting food dishes and pleasant offers of laundry service.

This is a trap.

Once your guard is down, the interrogation will begin.

It will be slow at first, but it will soon tornado into a frenzy of guilt, exasperation and utter chaos.

"How is school? How are classes? Why don't you ever have any money? What are you going to do with that major? Why don't you have a job? How can you use so many cell phone minutes after 3 a.m.? Where did we go wrong?"

Do not become frustrated.

Instead, answer as vaguely as possible. Monosyllables are your friend.

Or try the phrase, "I'm still in the process of deciding/discovering/determining that. I will get back to you."

Emphasize the importance of college as crucial time learning and "finding yourself" in your journey throughout life (regardless of how awesome a time it actually is).

If you have good grades, then this phase will pass more easily.

Another tricky obstacle is that at your parents' house, no longer can you do whatever you want (unless, of course, your parents are cool with that, in which case I am very jealous of you).

For freshmen especially, this can be shell shock, and it is best to be prepared for the worst.

Inevitably, your façade of boundless independence shatters the moment you try and leave and the second barrage of questions begins.

"Where are you going? When will you be back? Is that what you're wearing? Who is that boy?" and so on, to which you reply with the aforementioned monosyllable defense: "Out...soon...yes...just this kid."

You only need to provide simple answers to simple questions, but this quickly becomes very irritating.

It is important to remain calm and remember who pays the tuition bills.

As the break wears on, especially for those trapped in dead-end suburban and rural towns, you will be faced with even bigger problems, like the lack of anything to do.

Bars, concerts, hanging out in basements, going downtown if you're not already there, visiting other colleges... these are all things that keep us busy in Happy Valley and yet somehow inevitably become boring after a week in your hometown.

The obvious answer is to capitalize on boredom to get some schoolwork done.

The problem is that, due to Blockbuster and On Demand, temptation to become one with the couch is overwhelming. And schoolwork is not applicable over Christmas break.

Still, why not give it a shot, or at least bring your books home to make yourself feel better. At least you can say you had the intention of doing work.

Going "home" is a complicated matter in and of itself.

What was once seen as "your house," reveals itself increasingly clearer as "their house" that they just let you live in for a while for free.What exactly constitutes home?

Maybe to some, it still is your parents' house.

But if you are like me, more and more, I see Happy Valley as home.

I start to miss College Avenue and seeing nine out of 10 people wearing Penn State apparel.

As lazy as I am, I begin to wish I could be back located within a five-minute walk of everything I need and everyone I know. I even find myself missing the 2 a.m. Eagles chants and rowdy herds of freshmen taking advantage of their newfound states of autonomy.

Maybe that's why I and so many others have trouble surviving break. It is nice to eventually get out of my place, which isn't exactly spick-and-span and somehow persists to smell like beer and incense, and see family and friends.

But it isn't Penn State.

So over the next break, clock in your time with the family, stock up on excellent food and enjoy the free cable while you can.

In no time you'll be back in Happy Valley again, ready to complain about classes and the lack of stuff to do here too.