Israeli author Orly Castel-Bloom said yesterday to a group of students that she was alarmed when she received a Hebrew literature prize for her novel "Human Parts" in 2003 -- because she thought it meant she was going to die.

"I got this prize when I was 42 years old, and I thought to myself, 'What's going on?' " she said in accented English. "And I thought, 'Aren't I too young to win this kind of award? Does the [selection committee] have some kind of connection with God that I don't know about? Am I going to die? Should I die?' It was a real crisis in my life."

Castel-Bloom addressed a crowd of about 30 at the Pasquerilla Spiritual Center, where she shared stories about her life in Israel, her often hermit-like existence and the experiences that have shaped her novels.

She said when she began working on the novel "Textile" three years ago, she had writer's block, and because danger often leads to inspiration, she decided to drive through the Gaza Strip.

"Someone said to me, 'Drive carefully,' as if the problem was the roads and not that there were snipers waiting all over," she said. "But I tried to drive very quickly and then very slowly, because they say that confuses the enemy."

Because she wanted to speak to soldiers, Castel-Bloom said she parked outside an army base and scribbled questions in a notebook.

"And then I told myself, 'You're stupid,' " she said, " 'the army just saw you driving quickly and then stopping, and now you're sitting outside the base taking notes. This could be the end of your life.' So I made a U-turn and went back to Tel Aviv."

Castel-Bloom said personal experiences often shape her novels, and she described the character-development process for "Textile," which is a satire of the lives of the wealthiest Israelis.

One of the characters, for instance, is a 48-year-old man named Shlomi -- "a loser who likes young girls."

"When I was 22, a guy named Shlomi invited me to a concert," she said. "But once we were there, he told me he had to go to the bathroom, and I never saw him again. Ever. So years later, I remembered and drew on this terrible experience."

When Castel-Bloom is working on a novel, she said she often slips into a hermit-like state and refuses to leave her home in Tel Aviv.

"Sometimes, I get fed up with communication. I become anti-civilization," she said. "I only speak to my children, and it's usually short words like 'the dog,' meaning take out the dog, 'the door' or 'the volume.' Only nouns... our house is quite an interesting one."

Castel-Bloom has published six novels, five collections of short stories and a children's book. In 1999, she was named one of the 50 most influential women in Israel.

She said her children, ages 14 and 21, have not read any of her work.

"My children don't like to read," she said. "And it would be kind of embarrassing [if they read my books]. I don't think it will arrive at this point, but maybe if they ever want to read, they should read some other books."

Michael Barasch (sophomore-broadcast journalism) said he enjoyed Castel-Bloom's lecture because it offered a glimpse into Israeli life and the principles that guide Israeli authors. Penn State Hillel program director Yifat Yakov-Shemmer said Castel-Bloom was unique because she made an effort to interact with audience members.

"I felt like I was sitting alone with her, talking over a cup of coffee," Yakov-Shemmer said. "She looked at everybody, and she was very sincere. It really got inside my heart."