There was a void in our hearts. For the longest time, it seemed as though we could never fill that void. She was ripped from our arms before we even had the chance to say goodbye. It's seemed like forever since we last saw her.
That was the day Sexy left.
But we now rejoice, for Justin Timberlake is bringing Sexy back. Thank you, Justin. I don't know how I survived without her.
OK, I'll be honest -- I never knew Sexy had left. Perhaps I never really knew Sexy in the first place. So when Sexy left, I didn't notice. I don't know, I'm not a sexy expert. But apparently J-Tim is.
On FutureSex/LoveSounds, however, it's not so much Timberlake but Timbaland who brings sexy back. One of the most influential producers of the past decade, Timbaland continues his assault on the Top 40 charts with his beats on this album. He saves J-Tim from making a complete fool of himself -- but just barely.
Timberlake has no idea what he wants to do with this album. The first half is full of songs just like "SexyBack," chock-full of funky beats and promiscuous lyrics. The second half, however, is full of failed attempts at "maturity."
It's often said that artists "mature" with some albums, but that usually means they make songs about their spouses or kids or world peace or some other sappy crap. There are plenty of good songs about spouses or kids or world peace, but there are plenty more that confuse maturity for losing an edge.
J-Tim is confused.
It's hard to believe the same man who sang "I'm gonna have you naked by the end of this song" and unleashed Janet Jackson's pierced nipple upon the free world just a few years ago is the same man who sings "So rest your weary heart and relax your mind / 'Cause I'm gonna love you girl until the end of time" in his song "Until the End of Time." It makes Boyz II Men sound like The Sex Pistols.
Timberlake then follows this slow jam snoozefest with "Losing My Way," a song which mixes some pseudo-sociopolitical lyrics with a repetitive, boring melody. If I'm looking for social commentary, I'm not going to a guy who was in 'NSYNC.
Timbaland is the knight in shining armor for FutureSex/LoveSounds. I don't know how the man does it, but he can make the most average songs dance classics and the worst songs somewhat enjoyable. FutureSex/LoveSounds falls into the latter category, unfortunately. After "SexyBack," there's not much worth remembering here. And after J-Tim damn near became the white(r) Michael Jackson on Justified, FutureSex/LoveSounds is a huge letdown.
Timberlake may be bringing sexy back; I don't know. Like I said, I'm not a sexy expert. But if this is FutureSex/LoveSounds is what J-Tim means by sexy, maybe I'm better off that way.
Grade: C-
