Dear Penn State student section,

As of the past two years, it has become common practice to hoist people up after more points go on our board and drunkenly throw them around. Some genius decided that Notre Dame looked cool doing this and decided to bring it to Happy Valley. Meanwhile, we are all crying in our Natty Lights that the Irish beat us last week. The only one who does push-ups is the Lion. Our touchdown tradition is throwing marshmallows. And although I am in no way condoning it due to the rules at Beaver Stadium, I beg of the student section to stop being hypocritical and crying over the Notre Dame loss while using their traditions as our own.