Ever since her days in Destiny's Child, Beyoncé has been pretty reliable for a couple killer singles off every album. But then B'Day was preceded by two singles, one innovative and one an imitation. Unfortunately, the album follows the latter, offering very few thrills along the way.
To start with the good: "Ring the Alarm" is notable for being the only time Beyoncé really seems into what she's singing, and her dramatic vocals are supported by a good song. Over shrill sirens, a very pissed-off Beyoncé makes it clear that she is unhappy about another woman trying to steal her man. The rumor mill says it's about Rihanna.
But the other single, the aptly titled "Crazy in Love" retread, "Deja Vu," doesn't fare as well. Jay-Z continues to demonstrate his tenuous grasp on the word "retirement," and the song lacks any strong hooks.
Speaking of Mr. Carter, let's take a moment to analyze his performance. Jay-Hova has chosen the worst combination -- he sounds as rusty as if he hasn't rapped in years, but continues to saturate the market with guest appearances. In "Upgrade U," he boasts about buying Miss Knowles jewelry: "Cause that rock on ya finger is like a tumor/You can't put ya hand in ya new purse."
Nothing woos the shorties like a cancerous lump, Jigga.
As for his "Deja Vu" rhymes, all that needs to be said . . . he rhymes "po-po" with "no-go." His raps on this album should be presented as "Exhibit B" in a trial to determine Young Hov's competence as a credible rapper. (Exhibit A was the Linkin Park collaboration.)
Not that Beyoncé is immune from singing silly lyrics. In "Sugar Mama," she opens with "I'ma be like your jolly rancher/That you get from the corner store/Or I'ma be like a waffle cone/That's drippin down to the floor." It's just too bad she misses the obvious "delicious/bootylicious" couplet. Man, where's Hova when you need him?
Most of the up-tempo numbers are enjoyable but a little lacking. What could have been another big hook in the vein of the horn melody from "Crazy in Love" only disappoints.
Similarly, sparse, dark numbers like "Green Light" don't stand up well next to the legitimately sexy single "Naughty Girl" from her first album.
To be fair, "Get Me Bodied" features another good vocal performance from Beyoncé, and it's given plenty of room to read over the spare beat that consists only of a drum loop and a chopped backing vocal.
The ballads are another story. While most of the album is solid if unspectacular, the soft songs are overblown and sappy, something not helped by Beyoncé's sudden urge to over-emote. And when I say overblown and sappy, think Michael Bolton. Singing to a crippled dove. On the sinking Titanic. With an orchestra made up of weeping 12-year-old girls.
For the most part, B'Day is perfectly serviceable R&B. But from someone who's had fantastic singles both in a group and on her own, a bit more is expected. "Ring the Alarm" aside, none of the album stands up with her earlier work. Grade: C-
