There is no such thing as a good first date. You could say "It wasn't bad" or "At least she wasn't homicidal," but it's impossible to say "That was a good first date" without kidding yourself.

To know this true and storied fact -- it's in the Bible, somewhere in the back -- is to take the first step in college dating.

Once you get through the stunning awkwardness of a first date, you're on your way -- that is, unless your date was so appalled by you that he/she has ruled out the possibility of communicating with you ever again.

A first date can be so awkward and confusing that even a relatively good first date can actually seem near disastrous.

Case in point: my last date.

While the girl and I had a lot in common and seemed fairly compatible, it was hard to get past the fact that she brought along her terminally ill roommate to dinner.

Ultimately, there are only two conditions under which college dating can be anything but awkward. The first condition is a very common one that usually carries over from high school friendships.

In this case, the parties involved have been platonic friends for a long period of time and are finally taking the inevitable dive into romance. There is no such thing as a platonic friend.

In the second case, let's just say the parties involved are not exactly at the height of mental clarity.

Once the couple has breached the nearly impenetrable walls of the first date, then comes the next impossible step: peer approval.

It's hard enough for a girl or guy to impress you; now the new companion has to undertake the task of impressing your friends.

Any good friend would just want what's best for you, so your second step in the quest for a good relationship/hookup may be the most complex because it involves weighing
the opinions of a number of other people.

Now your fling enters the sometimes harsh court of public opinion.

This step is sort of like the American Idol of dating, except your friends probably don't have British accents or say "dawg" at the end of every sentence.

Unfortunately, if your friends are too judgmental, they could send a potential mate running for the hills -- but if they're too lenient, you could end up dating a psycho.

If you've somehow managed to get through the awkward first romantic encounter and got your friends to agree that your new pet is a good match, you then have to worry about the distinct possibility of your significant other/friend-with-benefits going completely insane.

Actually, if this happens, it's more likely that the person was a psycho all along, and that you're just noticing it.

It's okay; love blinds even the strongest person from using common sense.

You probably should have noticed when she started calling all your female friends "Ice Queen" or when he stole all your underwear and refused to give it back, but it's only natural to overlook such minor idiosyncrasies.

Finally, if your mate seems to be of sound mind and has passed the rigors that dating has put him or her through, hold on for dear life. You've found the one.

And if this happens, you're also a pretty lucky duck because there's probably literally only one person in the entire world that could pass through these trials.

It's understandable that if after reading this advice, you're a bit tentative about the whole "college dating" thing.

But don't fret -- college feels so much better when you're lonely and miserable anyway.