In his column ("Days off would improve Arts Fest," July 12), Mike Pettigano says, "Professors teaching summer classes don't let up on the workload that they assign during the week of the festival."

How dare they perform the work that you, the students, are paying them to perform. This should come to a stop immediately.

Pettigano makes the case that Arts Fest week is second only to to the week of Homecoming. Let's cancel everything that week too. But Homecoming is only a little bit bigger than other football weeks, so we should probably just cancel classes right through the fall. It will probably snow in the winter, so let's not have classes then, either. Spring days are too nice to be spent inside stuffy classrooms as well. To top it off, the tuition rates rise every year.

Here's my solution to this dilemma: I am going to open my own school. I'll charge you only half of what you pay for tuition now, and I will never hold a class. I love customers who pay outrageous sums of money and then demand less.