From the writer who brought you the article about the Chuck Norris facts trend and a column last year about plastic surgery comes today's Daily Collegian senior send-off column.

Please, try to contain all of your excitement.

As general rule, I'm supposed to write a column giving you, my fellow students, a few paragraphs reflecting on what college was like for me, or maybe describe some funny stories from my heyday at Penn State so you can really see what Happy Valley is all about.

I'm supposed to do this because, according to society, after four years and two summers at Penn State, my experience in and outside of the classroom has made me wiser than you, a sage if you will.

Apparently, I have a deeper understanding of how the college and post-college world works so I can give you some empirical proof of my regrets and you can learn from them.

But because I absolutely hate it when I get the lecture on how college is the best time of my life and that it goes by so quickly, especially since I'm graduating May 13, I will spare you from the same torturous fate.

I refuse to preach to the Penn State masses about the importance of "living it up" and "making memories that will last a lifetime." I already knew that before I moved into Shulze Hall the summer before my freshman year. And I would hope you have also already figured that out by now.

So, this is not going to be the column where I tell you to take pictures of your friends every chance you get so you can keep the memories for a lifetime.

Because, let's be honest, half of the people in your phonebook will probably never make it back on your cell phone's recent calls list after graduation. That is the real reason why you want the pictures -- so you don't forget their faces.

But, if you are you still in dire need of help on how to spend your college career, I suggest reading up on the other columns that Collegian seniors have written in the past.

In them, you can find all sorts of ways to "live it up." For example: laying out on the HUB lawn on a beautiful day, screaming "We Are ... Penn State" at a football game, drinking pitchers of iced tea at a bar instead of sitting in class, getting involved in this or that organization, blah blah blah.

I, on the other hand, don't want to tell you how to have fun or that you should go to class, or whatever else I'm supposed to say.

You don't need me, a girl who still doesn't have her life all figured out, to tell you what to do or not to do. Do I look like your mother?

So, with the responsibility of writing that typical senior advice column off my shoulders (since this is clearly not "Dear Abby"), I thought I would save you from the misery of reading through my regrets, drunken debacles and fond memories in cliche form.

Instead, I'm coming to you to fulfill just one, simple request: that you be realistic.

I was once fooled by the fantasy of the perfect life I would have once I made my way from Philadelphia to University Park that first time.

I imagined a world from the movies -- a mixture of partying every night like in National Lampoon's Animal House and the ending from any Disney film where they lived happily ever after.

Don't get me wrong, there were obviously many fun nights with happy endings. But, that was not always the case.

I saw how bad things happen to everyone; people still gossip, cheat and lie over the dumbest things just like in high school; the work never ends, and people do tons of stupid things ... even when they're not drinking.

And like I said before, I'm not going to sit here and tell you how I handled those situations or what I would have done if I knew then what I know now. That wouldn't help you at all, and that's your job to figure out.

I'm done; I'm leaving soon and preparing myself for what's next. But, I thought I would just throw this out there. You can either take it, or throw it back.