You, I hope, see the soul-deadening irony of Pink -- who looks and sounds like a Slurpee machine exploding -- releasing a track that calls out the "Stupid Girl" of pop music's elite, right? This judgement, from a woman whose first single featured a pre-chorus of "sometimes it be's [sic] like that"? Or how about that one time when she rhymed "just like a pill" with "making me ill"? Or, you know, when she thought it was a good idea to unleash "Get The Party Started" on an unsuspecting world?

And, look, if you're not aware of the dimness of Jessica Simpson's bulb, you've got no business listening to pop radio or. Pink feels the need to point this out, not to educate -- yes, honey, Mama Britney's no genius either -- but to position herself as an alternative to the skin-showing, note-trilling gals of MTV. Seems to me I saw a lot of Pink's midriff in the "Lady Marmalade" video, though. Sure, she's better than Christina Aguilera; the paradox is, anybody smart enough to be able to call out gals like Xtina is also smart enough not to waste his or her breath doing it. Not to mention what a sloppy, awkward song "Stupid Girls" really is.

There's not much point in me reviewing the rest of Pink's latest, I'm Not Dead. For most, it'll be hard to see the wheat for all that chaff.

Every time I hear a Pink song, I wonder why she doesn't do a cover of Eiffel 65's "Blue (Da Ba Dee)," except, you know, "I'm Pink." Grade: D

-- Reviewed by Paul Thompson